AllFreeNovel
Share Us
It will be a little strange having her in my bed, but I like the fact she is here. I need to make sure everyone will stay away. I pull my joggers on under the towel before I remove it, and toss it in the laundry basket, along with Alana’s.
“Do you need anything, angel?” I turn to face her.
“Yes, for you to get your ass into bed because I am sure I was promised snuggles.” She raises her brow at me, patting the spot next to her.
“Yes, I did promise you those.” I chuckle as I climb in next to her.
“Hi,” she whispers, rolling onto her side. I smile, doing the same, and Alana scoots in closer.
I reach for her face to stroke her cheek. “Would you really have just disappeared?” The sadness in my voice is unmistakable.
“Yes. I have done it before, and nothing is keeping me here. I have no family, one friend, no job, no apartment, and no you. I have done it before. It is easier than you think.” She whimpers after the last word as tears well in her eyes.
“You have mentioned before you have no one and have been on your own since you were a teenager. Why?” There must be a reason for it.
Alana draws in a breath, holding it for a moment before she lets it out.
“I lost my mom at a young age, and my dad couldn’t take care of me. He ended up hating me because I reminded him of my mother. I couldn’t take much more and left when I was fifteen. I couch surfed for a while but also slept on the street at one point until I could get a job.” I can see pain and sadness flash in her beautiful brown eyes as she tells me her story.
“Angel, I am sorry you felt the need to run away.” I wipe the tears away from her cheeks. I had a feeling she was broken like me.
“It was better than staying at home. I haven’t seen or spoken to my father since. I tried to reach out a couple of times, but he refused to talk to me, so I gave up.” She tries to shrug it off, but her eyes disagree with her actions. It still hurts her.
Fear cuts inside of me at the thought of this beautiful woman disappearing from my life, it is a thought I would rather not have. I have to say something, something meaningful and true to let her know she matters to me because I don’t think it is something she is used to.
“Alana, promise me you won’t disappear on me.” I sigh, caressing her cheek.
“I can’t make that promise, Ezra, because neither of us knows what will happen here between us. It may work out or it may be a disaster. You may change your mind about breaking up with Bella.”
She goes to turn away from me, but I quickly slip my arm around her and pull her to me, holding her tight. “Alana, I don’t want to be with Bella! I want to be with you.” I don’t know how I can be any clearer. I am sure once I break things off with Bella then it will be easier for her to trust me.
“I know, I am sorry, I can’t help it. You have a history with her, and you obviously loved her at one point, Ezra. Surely you can understand why I am worried. What if the roles were reversed?” she asks softly.
“I would fucking hate it!” I couldn’t deal with it. I would end up finding out where the dude lived and tell him Alana is now mine and she doesn’t want him anymore. I am a jealous man and I refuse to share what is mine.
“Exactly, so you understand my doubts? Anything could change between now and when you plan to break up with her.” Her words sound strained. I don’t like her doubting me, not one bit, but I can understand why. It makes me realize she doesn’t trust me, not completely, and it’s something I need to prove to her.
“I do. Alana, I know this can’t be easy for you, but I need you to trust me, okay? You and I will be together soon, for real, with no one getting in the way.” I need her to believe me, to trust in me.
She smiles and leans in, taking my lips with hers and placing her hand on my cheek. I pull her over my body for the sole purpose of having her closer to me. Alana parts from the kiss, lying down on my chest she buries her face in my neck. I run my fingers up and down her back.
“I got you, angel. I promise,” I whisper in her ear. Alana nuzzles my neck, and we lie here in silence, a peaceful one, both of us enjoying the closeness.
I don’t want to change positions, but we need to get some sleep. “As much as I would love to keep you right here on my chest, beautiful, we need to get some sleep.” I don’t think this would be a comfortable position for either of us.
Alana lifts her head to steal a kiss before lying next to me. “Can I ask you a question before we do?”
“Yeah.” It is the least I can do after she opened up to me.
“Your biological parents, what happened to them?” she asks nervously, watching me closely, and probably waiting for me to close up on her, but I won’t, not tonight.
“I have no idea. Once social services took me away, I never saw them again. I can’t even tell you if they are still alive, and honestly, I don’t care if they are. They didn’t deserve to be parents,” I hiss the last sentence out, my entire body tenses out of anger. I hate that even after all these years, even talking about them briefly still stirs such anger in me, not only that but the pain too. Thinking about them reminds me of the scared little boy I used to be. I still have nightmares sometimes about what they did to me. It makes me sick to my stomach.
“Ezra, easy, baby, deep breaths,” Alana says, taking my hand in hers and making me realize my breathing has gotten out of control and there is tightness in my chest. “I got you, babe.”
I close my eyes, taking a few deep breaths I finally start to calm down. I open my eyes after a moment, meeting her beautiful brown ones I feel myself relax further.
“Ezra, I am sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” She sighs, sadly.
