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The last couple of hours have been hell. I keep seeing Alana, but I can’t talk to her. I have been watching after her like a lost puppy. She has been at our table more than once, which has made it even harder.
We are between courses at the moment. We have a little time until the next one. Bella and her parents are away socialising. My mom is away to use the restroom, leaving me at the table with my dad. I suddenly feel his eyes on me and turn to face him.
“Who is she?” he blurts out, an unamused look on his face.
“Who?” I ask casually, hoping he doesn’t mean who I think he does.
“The waitress, Ezra. Don’t try to play dumb with me. I saw the two of you talking earlier, and it seemed heated. Your attention has been on her most of the night rather than Bella, who has been sitting right next to you.” Each word escapes through gritted teeth. He is trying to keep calm since we are in public.
“I don’t know what you are talking about.” I lie, trying to keep a straight face. I can’t have him knowing I am not telling the truth.
His grip on his glass tightens. “Ezra, don’t lie to me. I am not an idiot. How long have you been having an affair?” he snarls.
I could continue to spiel bullshit to him, but there is no point. It’s clear he knows something is going on. I am done lying.
“What does it matter how long it has been going on?”
“So, it is true?” The anger in his voice and eyes is evident.
“Yes,” I state simply. I stay calm because I don’t want to fight with him.
“What the hell is wrong with you? You were raised better than that. And with a damn waitress, of all people! Someone like her doesn’t belong in our world. She doesn’t fit, and she never will.”
I have seen my dad angry before, but not like this. However, he has no fucking right to talk about Alana in such a manner. I clench my fists, and my jaw tightens. “You don’t even know her.”
“I know enough. She is nothing but a waitress. Men like you are not supposed to be with women like her. Men like you should be with a woman like Bella. No respectful female would have an affair with a man who is already taken,” he snaps.
I slap my hands on the table, anger running through me. “Don’t you fucking dare talk about her like that” I snarl with a low voice.
“End it, Ezra, before your mother or Bella finds out,” he warns, a serious look on his face.
I jump to my feet. “No! My personal life is none of your business,” I hiss, glaring at him.
“Bella is great. She is good for you. End it, Ezra, or I will,” he threatens.
“Bella is great? None of you have any idea about what my relationship with Bella is like. Christ, sometimes I don’t even think we like each other. We show everyone what we think you want to see. We are still together to keep all of you happy. Bella and I were over a long time ago.” I keep my words quiet, but you can hear the anger in my voice. I don’t want everyone to know my business.
“Stop trying to make excuses for your affair, Ezra. Sort it out. I will not ask again. You are supposed to be with Bella, not a nobody like your waitress.”
“I don’t love Bella anymore. I love the woman you are sitting there being unjustly cruel to. I am done with this conversation. Goodbye,” I state firmly and walk away.
I refuse to stand there and let him talk badly about Alana, especially since he has no idea about us and what she has done for me. I search for Bella so I can let her know I am leaving. I hope she chooses to stay. My eyes finally find her, and she is talking with some guy, flirting with him. I head over.
“Bella, I am heading out. I don’t feel well. Are you staying?” I ask.
“Um, yeah, I am staying. I will call you tomorrow.” She smiles.
“Okay. Goodnight,” I reply and head straight for the exit.
A part of me wants to head back inside, to find Alana and grab her, then take her with me. Reality intrudes and I realize an event like this is not the place for everyone to find out about my affair. I am shaking with anger, annoyance and anxiety by the time I arrive outside.
I don’t want to go home. Where I want to go is Alana’s place to wait for her, but I don’t want to go there without asking her, especially if she is mad at me. I have a key to her place, with her permission, but I won’t invade her space. I sigh, standing in the middle of the street I’m trying to work out what to do. I take my cell out and text Alana again.
Hey, my love. I know you are probably pissed off at me still, but it has been a rough night, and I don’t want to go home. Can I head to your place and wait for you? I really need to see you tonight xx
I stare at the screen, hoping she will text back soon. After what feels like forever, but was only a couple of minutes, I see she is about to reply thanks to the flashing little dots.
Is everything okay? Yes, you can go to mine. Have you left? xx
