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She would never be there again.
It was up to her to do this now. To preserve this treasured tradition and keep what little family she had left together.
She sighed, weaving deeper into the woods. She suddenly spotted a trail of deep green, glossy ivy. Carefully, she cut the vine, folding it into the basket. Further along, she found some holly and did the same. The mistletoe was harder to find, but eventually she discovered some, cutting it off and placing in her basket.
Her basket was growing heavy now. Evelina sat down on a rock and gazed around. The air was chilly, but the sky was a perfect, vaulting ceiling of blue. There had been significant snowfall overnight, and the ground was thick with it. White and flawless; like the icing on a cake. The only marks she could see upon it were the tiny paw prints of a squirrel, which must have been rushing from tree to tree.
Suddenly, another memory assailed her. A memory of being in these woods with her mother and making a Christmas snowman. If she listened carefully, she thought she could still hear the sound of their laughter as they made big snowballs, clumping them together to make the snowman, and using twigs and acorns for the features of the snowman’s face.
Evelina slowly smiled, getting up. She would make a snowman now, in honour of that memory. It would be great fun.
She started gathering snow, rolling it together. The tips of her fingers ached from the cold, but she persisted, becoming absorbed wit her work. Her breath fogged as it left her mouth. She felt strangely exhilarated.
She started to think about the handsome coachman again. She had been trying very hard not to think about him, but he had been in her thoughts all last night, making it hard to sleep. She thought about how she felt when they collided and their conversation at the church. As if they were equals and there was nothing wrong with talking in such a candid way.
She had enjoyed it immensely. But she knew it was dangerous. She had never felt such an overwhelming physical attraction to any man before, and certainly not to a lower-class man, which was completely taboo. No good could come from encouraging it or indulging in it, no matter how much she longed to do it. She must keep it firmly in check and never speak to him in such a way again.
Evelina sighed, gazing off into the distance at a frozen lake. Perhaps this inexplicable attraction had only emerged because she was so isolated at home most of the time, spurning society events. Apart from her work in the village, and seeing Caroline from time to time, she never went anywhere.
And a small part of her knew that was unhealthy, just as her best friend insisted. A small part of her longed to be the carefree girl she had once been, dancing and laughing and flirting with handsome gentlemen.
She sighed again. She was probably just focusing on the handsome coachman because of that lack in her life, and because he was new to Bosworth Manor. It probably wasn’t real at all, but just the result of not being able to express that side of herself anymore. She was so tied up with trying to be responsible and do her duty that she clearly was feeling a bit stifled.
Evelina closed her eyes. It would pass. Both the attraction to the coachman and her feelings that she was missing out on her life. Papa needed her desperately. Bosworth Manor needed her. There was simply no capacity to live simply for herself any longer. She had not asked for this, but it was what life had given her. She must learn to accept her fate and be content with it, or else she would be forever dissatisfied and unhappy.
And even indulging in these thoughts filled her with guilt. Shemustaccept her lot in life.
She heard the sharp crack of a twig snapping. Heart pounding, she opened her eyes, spinning around. To her utter astonishment, she was staring straight at the handsome coachman, as if she had summoned him just by thinking about him.
***
Jude gazed in astonishment at the lady kneeling on the ground with a clump of snow in her hand. There was a lopsided snowman in the process of being constructed next to her. It was the very last thing he had expected to encounter when he had decided to explore these woods.
He had decided to go exploring the area on his luncheon break. He had been filled with a yearning restlessness, and going for a walk had seemed the perfect way to get it out of his system. Besides, it would be good to become familiar with the area around the manor.
He had never had a chance to go on country walks in Shrewsbury, after all. It was like a whole other world out here–a veritable winter wonderland.
Hastily, she got to her feet, dropping the ball of snow to the ground. Her face was bright red with embarrassment.
“Jude,” she said, in a choked voice. “What are you doing here? Have you been searching for me? Is there something wrong at the house?”
He made a clumsy bow, suddenly remembering he must stick to this etiquette even in the woods.
“Milady,” he said, his heart thumping hard. “No, I am not searching for you. I am just walking on my break. I did not mean to startle you.”
Their eyes met and locked. He felt that same powerful jolt of attraction for her that had shaken him the very first time they had met.
Not sure what to do, and wanting to put her at ease, he nodded at the lopsided snowman next to her. “You are building a snowman, milady?”
She looked startled, as if she had completely forgotten the snowman next to her. Her colour deepened. “Ah, yes,” she said, with a smile as lopsided as the snowman, which he found very endearing. “I am afraid it isn’t coming along as well as I hoped.”
He grinned at her. “Would you like a hand?”
Her jaw dropped open. “You want to help me build the snowman?”
He shrugged. “Why not? I have built a few good ones in my day.” His mouth twitched. “And this one looks like it needs all the help it can get.”
She looked stunned. Instantly, he regretted the words. He had only meant them in a teasing way, to try to put her at ease, but he realised that once again he was overstepping the line with her. A servant shouldn’t tease a grand lady in such a way. It was so difficult to remember how he was supposed to act with her.
