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“Yes, I am, andmychoice is to keep this baby.”
Noah swallows and moves his head up and down. “Just making sure. Because I want you to keep it.”
“Oh,” I say, having expected a different response from him. Silence falls between us, broken by the loud squeaks of Vader chomping on a rubber ball. “What do you want to do?”
“I’ll do whatever you want,” he answers without skipping a beat.
“And why would you do that?”
He looks away. “No reason … well, no reason other than my child is growing inside of you. I … I want to try, Lauren. So, what doyouwant?”
I shake my head. “I don’t even know. Do you think you’ll, uh, be involved, help me raise the kid, be there during the birth … that sort of thing?” I quickly look into his eyes, afraid of what I’ll see. “I don’t know what else goes into this. I’m going off of movies I’ve seen.”
“Yeah,” he says. “I think so.” He rubs his forehead. “You’re sure it’s mine?”
I tip my head up, jaw trembling. “Yes. You can get a fucking DNA test if you want. But I promise you it’s yours. I haven’t had sex, or even gotten past first base, with anyone but you in a very long time.”
He nods, considering my words. “I want to be there for all of it. If it’s mine, I mean,sinceit’s mine, I want to do whatever I can.” He takes my hand again and turns to me, blue eyes clouding over. “My father was never there for me. I don’t want this kid to go through that.”
A tear escapes and rolls down my cheek. Noah catches it and brushes it away. He pulls me in and kisses my forehead, then puts one hand over my stomach.
“I want to be here for both of you.”
“I want you to be here too,” I say softly, and it hits me just how much I want things to work out. But we only have nine months to figure this out, to see if we’re not only compatible with each other, but capable of loving each other enough to commit and raise our child together.
“Did you tell Colin yet?”
I shake my head. “Only Katie.” My voice quakes and I realize I’m trembling head to toe. “I have to tell my parents soon. Holy shit, they’re going to freak.”
Noah moves closer. His thigh presses against mine and he puts an arm around my shoulders.
“I’m sorry, Lauren.”
“Thanks,” I say. “It takes two, ya know. And neither one of us were thinking straight that night, so I don’t blame you entirely.”
“Not entirely? So partially?”
“Oh of course. You got me drunk then took me on that oh-so romantic motorcycle ride in the rain. I was pretty much a goner from the start.”
He laughs and the knot in my chest loosens. “I told you I’m irresistible.”
“Hardly.” I rest my head against his shoulder, blaming pregnancy hormones for finding him so fucking hot right now.
I reach out and grab the ultrasound picture. “That’s the baby,” I say, pointing to the little blob. “I’m eight weeks and got to see the heart beating today too.”
Noah takes the pictures from me, bringing it close to his face. His expression is neutral.
“Fuck,” he finally says.
“I agree,” I say with a sigh.
“We had sex six weeks ago, and you’re eight weeks along … Am I missing something?”
“You start out at two weeks. It’s confusing, I know. I’m eight weeks along but the baby is only six weeks old … if that makes sense.”
“It doesn’t.” He hands me the images. “This is ass backwards, but let me take you on a first date?”
My first inclination is to tell him no, that it’s not worth it. Because I don’t have faith in him, that I know better. Because a first date with Noah isn’t going to lead to a second. A first date isn’t going to change him, isn’t going to make him flip a switch and settle down…as much as I wish it could.
