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“When?”
“Can we give it a day or two just until Lennon’s emotions settle?”
“So, in two days?”
I swallow nervously. I knew this moment was coming, and I understand Jake wanting a deadline. That doesn’t make it any easier. There’s a part of me worried Lennon will be upset with me—maybe even hate me—for keeping his father a secret. He’s young, but he’s not so young that he won’t resent me for keeping quiet. God, I don’t know how everything became so complicated.
“What if we tell him this weekend? We can ask your mother to take Mom to bingo. Barb likes to go, too. Then, it will just be the three of us here and we can try and tackle it together.”
“Saturday night,” he says, and I can tell he’s not happy with the wait, but he nods an agreement. I feel a little of the heavy emotion in the room lift and I’m grateful.
“Saturday night,” I agree.
“You’re not going to put it off, right? I’m sick of this secret causing problems.”
“I promise.”
“I can wait that long, I guess.”
“Jake?”
“Yeah?”
“I owe you an apology. No, that’s not right. I owe you more than one. I’ve handled things so badly.”
“Katie—”
“I should have told you about Lennon from the beginning. I was hurt and scared. It turned me into a coward.”
“Katie, we were young. We both made mistakes. I wrote that letter because you kept dropping hints about growing old together and starting a family. It sucks, but I panicked. You wouldn’t even consider going on the road with me and I couldn’t see past my dreams dying.”
“I should have told you about the pregnancy instead of trying to drop hints,” I whisper.
“Sunshine, it sucks, but I still would have left.”
“I know,” I admit. Jake will never know how painful those two words are to give breath to. “I’ve always known, and I let that color my actions, but…”
“But?”
“You would have tried to be in Lennon’s life. It might not have been the version of a father that I wanted for my son, but you would have been there.”
“You sound so positive of that.”
“I am and that’s why I want to apologize to you.”
“I’m not following, baby,” he says, looking down at me. I reach up and soothe out the worry lines around his eyes. His warm skin makes my skin tingle.
“When Jeff and I were talking, I could just see it…”
“See what?”
“I could see that you were telling the truth. Jeff didn’t tell you about Lennon four years ago. When I pressed him, he admitted it.”
“Are you saying I owe my brother for telling you the truth?” he snorts—the sound full of disgust. His head goes down as he picks at an invisible piece of lint on his jeans. It’s then that I see his knuckles are scratched, bruised, and covered in cuts. I’ve been in a trance and never noticed how bad they were through dinner. I was too much in my head and trying to stopmy son from lashing out at his father. I wince, immediately remembering what Jake said about the wall of the barn.
“I should have believed you immediately. It’s just…” I trail off as I carefully sit up, ignoring the pain. I reach for his hand, spreading it out against my upper thigh.
“It’s just Jeff has never let you down and we both know I have,” he supplies, and I tear my gaze away from his hand to look at him.
