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“Which one is which?”
“Matthew is the one whose hair swirls to the right. Jacob’s swirls to the left. They’re mirror twins.”
“Never heard of that.”
“It’s rare, I guess.” Her eyes grew heavy.
“Go to sleep, Maria.”
She passed out almost immediately.
Maria slept until almost six o’clock, and she woke when the boys woke. Still half-asleep, she hauled herself out of bed, took Jacob off my chest, and climbed back onto the mattress to let him nurse. After they’d both drained her,andtaken a bottle, she went to the freezer and pulled out a pan.
“Is tuna noodle casserole okay?”
“Sure.”
Over our dinner, I tried to figure out what I was going to do with Maria. She was being evicted anyway, so she had to move out of this horrible apartment. But how she was going to make it on her own was a mystery to me.
And the thought of driving back out to the mountains of North Carolina, almost twelve hours away if she needed help, was weighing on me. She ate silently, and together we polished off the entire casserole. She looked at the empty aluminum pan with a faraway look in her eyes.
I could give her some money. I’d give her whatever the courts said she was owed, plus whatever else I could spare, to make her life easier. But that didn’t solve the problem; she was still on her own. She still neededhelp.
And I had a chance to make sure I didn’t fuck this up.
“You could come back with me.” The words were out of my mouth before I even thought them through. I seemed to have a habit of doing that when it came to her, I realized.
She looked up from the pan and studied me, her expression wary.
“I know you don’t know me very well but… you can come back with me, if you want. I have space. I have a three-bedroom apartment to myself. It’s small but… You could stay home with them, and I can help you with them in the evenings.”
And there wouldn't be mold on the floors and walls.
And you wouldn't have to sleep on a mattress on the floor.
And my boys would have a father.
I bit back the words I thought would antagonize her and watched her consider my offer.
She didn’t answer, so I continued. “My parents… I’m sure they’d be thrilled to meet the boys. They’d help.” After all, they were always pestering me to settle down and give them some grandbabies.
She looked away from me and to the crib in the corner of the room. It was small, sitting on the floor with no feet, and barely fit the both of them. She’d duct taped one side thoroughly, assumedly because it was broken.
“You could transfer to Western Carolina, if you still want to go to school. It’s twenty minutes from the reservation… and the boys are part native. You can get support and medical coverage from the doctor’s office on the reservation if they ever get hurt or sick. We’d just need to update their paperwork.”
And I might have a chance to do right by you. Make it up to you. Right my wrongs. Not let a single mom hate me forever because I destroyed her life and stole her future.
Something told me if I mentioned custody, she’d freak out and think I was trying to take them away from her. So I focused on what I could give her, offering her the one thing she wanted more than anything… freedom.
“You can stay as long as you need to, and when they’re old enough, head back here, or go wherever you want… but for now, I can help you. Maria, I don’t want you to give up on your life, or give up on your dreams because you had my children. You still deserve… let me help you get back on your feet.”
She stared at the broken crib for a long time, and then nodded. “Okay,” she whispered, looking up at me. “I'll go with you.”
What the hell am I doing?We were both crazy. But I had my reasons for offering, and she had her reasons for accepting… and no matter what those reasons were, I was going to do my best to help her out, and make this right.
CHAPTER SIX
Drew and I spent the next two days cleaning and packing. Before I left town, I called my parents to let them know I was leaving to go live with a friend. My father asked me copious questions, even asking if I was going to live with the father of my children, but I lied and told him it was a college friend. I didn’t want to listen to him harass me any more about my choices regarding my children.
