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I rubbed at my eyes as well. “I think it’ll work. We’ll be okay. I’ll see you soon?”
“I have to go,” she said. “Your father is home.”
“I’ll call you when I have a plan for getting home.”
“Is Andrew home?”
“…yes.”
“Okay. Good luck, sweetie. See you soon.”
“Thanks, mom.” I hung up the phone.
Standing tall and still as stone, I struggled to take deep breaths. I didn’t want to turn and look at Andrew. I could hear him, standing a few paces behind me, unmoving, watching me. He stood frozen for a few moments before he quietly turned back to the door, shoving his shoes back on his feet, and leaving the apartment without even tying them.
When I heard the crunch of gravel outside as he drove away, I dropped my face into my hands, and let myself cry again. Just for a few minutes, to get it out. I sobbed and cried and clenched my fists, letting the betrayal and the confusion run through me.
Part of me wished he had confronted me, forced me to look at him and demanded an answer. He would tell me the truth, that everything that Marcy said was a lie, that he loved me and the boys and wanted me to stay, and then…
But that hadn’t happened. He’d put his shoes back on, and walked out the door.
He didn’t care. He didn’t want to deal with my crying, and my annoying screaming children if he wasn’t going to get anything out of it. And now he knew his purgatory was coming to an end.
This is exactly why I’m leaving,I told myself.Because I don’t want to stay here and fall in love with a man who doesn’t want me back.
I gulped down some water, washed my face, and started making dinner.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
I sat in my workshop, staring at the beams and slabs of beautiful dark stained wood filling most of the space. My gut churned and I felt lightheaded.
What the hell happened? When I’d left that morning, Maria was grinning with sparkling eyes and had kissed me on the cheek. When I’d come back, ready to claim her as mine, she’dlooked betrayed, and was calling her mom to find jobs in New Jersey.
She was leaving. She was leaving, with my sons, and going back across three state lines, and I’d probably never see them again. And I had no idea what I did wrong.
I looked at my watch. It was seven o’clock and I needed to go home. But I couldn't stand up. I couldn't move.
What did I do?
“Fuck!” I threw myself to my feet and launched a kick at one of the slabs of wood. It flew across the room, splintering as it hit the opposite wall.
I couldn’t make the same mistake again. I couldn’t let them go without a fight… unless she really truly wanted to leave. I needed to talk to her.
I did finally get home that night. The boys were already in bed. There were two little bowls and spoons in the sink, and the pot from the spaghetti, but no plate.
She hadn’t eaten. I felt like I couldn't eat either.
I found her in the nursery tucking them in. Inching into the room and standing beside her, I watched her rub her fingers over Matthew’s hand. He smiled when he saw me, and I felt my throat close up.
What did I do wrong? How could I make this right? Could I change her mind?
Maria left the nursery, not speaking a word. I stared at the boys a little longer, and then moved to follow her. She was switching a load of laundry.
“Maria,” I started.
“Cops came by today.”
Shit. Was this about Ruth?I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. “What did they tell you?”
