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“Yeah. Sorry, I do.”
I roll my eyes and wave them off. “You guys don’t understand. In order to graduate on time with my double major, I need a tight schedule. It’ll get better.”
They exchange a look between them, one I know way too well, and I jut my hip out to the side while crossing my arms. “I know, I know. You’re both worried. But how about some positive feedback?”
Mason claps his hands as he gets to his feet. To others it might seem like he’s mocking me, but I know he’s sincere. There’s always love for his twin sis in those big brown eyes of his.
He grins and pulls me into a big bear hug. “You’re doing amazing sis. We’re just looking out for you, you know that. And maybe trying to convince you to let loose a bit more.”
As I rest my chin on his shoulder and squeeze him back, my eyes connect with Asher’s from where he hasn’t moved from the bed. A corny smile stretches across his mouth and he gives me the thumbs up sign before mouthing, “I’ll help you, don’t worry.”
I let out a sigh of relief but Mason doesn’t notice. He’s too busy fake fist fighting me after ending our hug. “Want to catch these hands, huh, sis? Huh? Maybe if you party with us, I’ll leave you alone.”
I hold up my hands in protest. “Alright, alright. I’m going to the Halloween party next week. Good enough?”
Mason hollers. “Finally! That’s what’s up. Sienna is planning a couple’s costume and I told her as long as there’s no tights involved, I’m down.”
Asher snickers. “I’d like to see that.”
“Fuck no, bro. Ain’t happening. You pick your costume yet, Mads? Asher here has no clue.”
“Actually, I do.” Asher butts in. “But thanks for assuming.”
“What? You didn’t tell me.”
“It’s a surprise.”
“Ha, mine’s a surprise, too. Guess you’ll just have to wait, Mase.” I tease.
“It’s cool, it’s cool. Mine’s a surprise, too.” Mason responds.
“Good comeback.” I tap his shoulder as I walk by him towards the door. “There better be a morning run happening tomorrow, or I’m going to find a replacement. Maybe Asher?”
Mason bursts into laughter. “Asher? Run? That’ll be the day.”
“Stranger things have happened.” Asher says as he stands. He gives me a tiny wave. “Don’t forget to eat, Mads.”
“Yeah, and get some sleep.” Mason agrees.
I turn back to face them. “I have one dad already, thanks.”
“Shit, do you? I wasn’t sure.” Mason says but I ignore him and sneak one last quick glance at Asher. “Don’t let me down,” I say like always before I call out a goodbye and shut the door.
Except my brain can’t stop the one memory replaying over and over again- the look in Asher’s eyes when he grabbed my wrist and how I wanted so badly for him to never let go.
* * *
When my alarm goes off, I’m tempted to shut it off and go back to sleep. Mason won’t care if we don’t run.
But watch. The one time I don’t show up without a message explaining myself, he’ll be there bright and early.
My eyes pop open at the thought and I groan. I need to go for myself anyway.
I won’t ever put running on the back burner. I can’t. Every part of meneedsit. It’s part of my self care, it’s needed for my mental health, and I can tell the difference when I don’t make it a priority.
I force myself into a sitting position and convince myself to drop my feet to the floor, the cold tile piercing my skin.
It’s worth it. It’s all worth it.
