AllFreeNovel
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No one felt like celebrating, so we didn’t. We tried to act normal, as if it was just a regular day but it was pointless.
Christmas without Mason wasn’t Christmas at all.
The days are long but the nights are even longer. I sleep through new years, feeling as though I’ve got nothing to look forward to, so why bother celebrating it?
Mason won’t be here in this new year so to me, there’s nothing good about it.
A couple of days into the new year, a call comes in from Chloe and my spirits lift by a tiny smidge.
“Madison! How are you girl? I miss you so much.”
“I miss you too. This fucking sucks.”
“I know. It really does. We all miss you. And we all miss Mason.”
“Me too, Lo.”
“Asher stopped by the other day. He’s back in Sierra Cove, got a new apartment and—”
“He did?” I interrupt her.He’s back in Sierra Cove? Since when did he go back?
My heart thumps in my chest.He never told me he was going back…then again, I did tell him I needed space…
“Oh I’m sorry, you didn’t know? I just assumed you would.”
“Don’t be sorry, you didn’t know. But yeah we had a bit of a falling out.” I fill her in on what happened.
I tell her everything from start to finish.
“Wow, Mads. I had no idea. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with all of this. Is there anything I can do?”
“Maybe we can hang out soon? I need some Chloe time.”
“Yes! I wanted to ask you if I could come visit. Let’s make some plans.”
We chat for a while longer as Chloe talks about what’s going on in her life and our friends. There’s still plenty of drama and beach parties, and the pain in my chest tells me I miss it all more than I thought I did.
And then I realize just how much Mason’s death has changed all of our lives.
Chloe and I cry on the phone together as we reminisce over the good times and talk about everything Mason will miss by not being here.
The entire phone conversation has me realizing another thing.
I’m so fucking lonely.
Caught up and lost inside my grief, I’ve kept to myself. But I’m missing out on so much.
Life keeps on moving whether I’m there to see it happen or not.
We plan to see each other the following weekend and when we hang up, I pull out my journal.
It has since become a daily habit of mine.
I write down everything, from memories, to my dreams, to what my future was supposed to look like and what it looks like now.
But none of it helps.
I just feel more and more lonely as the days pass by.
