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“Was it unexpected?”
I nod again. “Car accident.”
“My deepest condolences Madison. You made a smart choice by coming here today. I’m confident I can help you get through this tough time. You’ll find that grief is weird, and everyone handles it differently. So we’ll figure out what works best for you and develop some coping skills from there.”
“That sounds good. Because if I’m being honest, my will to live and get through this is decreasing every day. And it scares me.”
“I just have to ask this, as it’s mandatory, but do you have any thoughts of harming yourself or others?”
“No.”
“Good. If you do, please reach out to me asap. Or call 911. Or any of the anonymous hotlines. Just reach out okay?”
“Okay.”
“Life is a war with many battles along the way. Some of those battles are a lot tougher than others. But what I can tell you is that you have the strength to get through this. You’re a lot stronger than you think.”
“I guess.”
“I like to start out these first sessions by having you vent. Vent about whatever it is you want, whatever you want to get off your chest. I find when we do this, it clears the fog and makes way for the real issues to come forth. Those are what we want to work through.”
She doesn’t need to ask me twice. I vent about it all. Mason, Asher, my parents, life, school, my career, my guilt, Sienna, absolutely everything.
It feels almost like a cleansing.
And afterwards, I feel better.
“Before we end the session tonight, I want to give you some pamphlets on grief groups. They meet once or twice a month, and my patients seem to find the support helpful. You’ll meet other people going through the same things and finding those who can relate to whatever it is you’re going through is gold.”
“Thank you.” I say and we schedule another session for a few days time.
“Well how was it?” My mom asks as we walk out to the car.
“It was alright. Better than I thought.”
“Good. Now how about some ice cream?” She smiles, a real smile I haven’t seen in ages. And for the first time in months, I actually want to go for ice cream.
“You don’t have to ask me twice.”
“That’s my girl.” Mom throws her arm around my shoulders and I actually smile.
A real smile.
Mason would be so proud.
* * *
A couple of weeks later, it’s late afternoon and my parents are still at work. I’m binging bad reality TV and doodling in my journal when there’s a knock on the front door.
I don’t think we were expecting any company so I’m not sure who I’ll find behind the door. When I peep through the hole, my mouth drops open.
Sienna?
What is she doing here?
I open the door and she stands on the porch, a bouquet of flowers in her hand. “Hi, Madison. Sorry to bother you. Is it okay if I come in?”
It’s doubtful Sienna has spoken that many words to me before and considering she was Mason’s girlfriend for a year, I find it odd.
