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He did have a point. And Ellie felt miserable knowing that he could be right. Tears pricked at her eyes, and she did her best to swipe them away.
“It’s just… I want what’s best for them. I want them to have a good Season, find a husband, and then they’re set for life. If they don’t get it, then we’re going to be stuck. But we have little money, and I don’t want to ask my aunt for help. It feels embarrassing to ask her for that after she’s doing us a favour by taking us in during the London Season. If she finds out I went out like this…”
“Ellie.” North took her hands and gave them a squeeze. “It’s alright. You were lucky nothing happened to you. But you can’t do these daft things to make your sisters happy. It will just end with someone getting hurt, and I’m concerned it will be you.”
Ellie had a feeling it would be her as well. But even though he was right, she knew she wouldn’t be able to say no. There was more rustling, and Ellie realised that North was shifting onto his knees, kneeling before her as he reached for her. Ellie went to him without protest and leaned her head on his chest as he held her, rubbing her back as they wobbled with the carriage movements. Even with the awkward position, it did feel nice to be held by him. Ellie could feel herself wanting to cry again just because someone was taking care of her.
“Oh, Ellie. What am I going to do with you?”
“You don’t need to do anything with me.” Ellie drew back to frown at him. “I’m not your responsibility.”
The look on North’s face changed, and the expression made Ellie wonder if it was suddenly warmer in the carriage. Then, he was cupping her head and drawing her close.
Ellie didn’t fight it, sinking into the kiss as North took her mouth with his. She had been thinking about the kiss back in the garden, and how it made her heart flutter each time she imagined it happening again. It had invaded her dreams since that moment.
Now it was happening, and it felt even sweeter than before.
Her body was beginning to itch. To her surprise, Ellie found herself wanting him to touch her everywhere else. Anywhere to make her body calm. Surely, she shouldn’t be thinking such shocking things?
Who are you taking for a fool? You want him to touch you everywhere.
The carriage jolted to a halt, which caused both Ellie and North to fall. They ended up on the floor, Ellie on top, as the carriage rocked for a moment and then stopped. For a moment, neither of them moved. When North spoke, he was breathing heavily.
“I think that means we’ve arrived near your home.”
“What? Oh.”
Then Ellie realised that she was straddling his waist, her skirts having slid up her legs. She could feel his legs pressed against her thighs.
And another part of him pressed against the most sensitive part of her body. It seemed to pulse against her, and Ellie had to bite back a whimper. As if they had a mind of their own, her hips rolled, which had both of them moaning. North grabbed her waist and kept her still. His expression was strained, his eyes tightly shut.
“Ellie… there is only so much self-control I have, but if you kept doing that…”
“What?”
“I don’t think you want to find out. Not if you want your reputation truly intact.” North lifted her enough that he could move her onto the seat, and then he sat up with a grimace. “You’d better go in. The rain isn’t going to ease up, but you can’t stay in here all day.”
“I… I suppose not.”
Ellie’s mouth had gone dry. She didn’t know what to think anymore. Things were just in a muddle in her head. How had she become so wanton after just a few interactions with this man? Now she had kissed him, touched him in areas she wasn’t supposed to, she wanted more. Ellie desired him.
And that left her shaken. That wasn’t supposed to happen. She was supposed to be focusing on her sisters, not herself.
He was right. She needed to leave, especially with the look in North’s eyes as he settled back and stared at her. He did appear to be hungry for her, and it was fuelling Ellie’s own desires.
She had to get out of there.
Fumbling for the handle, Ellie managed to get out without falling over her skirts, gasping as the cold rain hit her in the face. Trying to cover her head with her hands, and failing miserably, she ran down the street to her aunt’s house, darting down the side and into the stables.
The side door was, thankfully, unlocked, and Ellie got in before anyone saw her, hurrying up the back stairs and onto the first floor. She was shivering by the time she got to her bedchamber, her dress sticking to her. Despite not being outside for very long, Ellie had gotten herself drenched.
Hannah was in the bedchamber, going through the laundry. She stopped and stared when Ellie came in.
“Lady Eleanora! What on earth…?”
“Don’t ask questions, Hannah. Can I have the bath brought up and filled for me? I’m freezing.”
“Of course.” Hannah hurried towards the door. “I’ll get onto that immediately, and I’ll lay out some fresh clothes.”
