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Derrick wanted to argue, but he knew Ellie was right. It would make things more complicated, and Ellie was fighting with her emotions. He wanted to put his arms around her and hold her, but she would push him away. He didn’t want to see her like this.
Swallowing back the hard lump building in his throat, Derrick nodded. “Alright. If you need some time away, I’ll let you go. But we do need to talk about this eventually.”
“Eventually,” Ellie murmured. “I don’t know if we can.”
Before Derrick could respond, she turned and headed up the stairs. Derrick watched her go, wanting to run after her. He wanted to get onto his knees and beg for her to listen, but Ellie’s mind was made up.
There was a chair up against the wall, and Derrick staggered over to it. He sagged onto the seat, his legs shaking. God, what had just happened?
What had Catherine done?
#
Getting to sleep that night was next to impossible. Derrick had been sleeping in the same bed as Ellie since the first night, and now he was in bed alone. It felt strange, and he didn’t like it.
The bed was very cold without her beside him. She would fall asleep cuddling up to his side before rolling away to have her own space. And the mornings were almost the same, with Ellie rolling up against him and wrapping her arms around him. That was a good way to wake up.
It was something he looked forward to after getting back from one of his trips. Ellie’s touch did soothe him after the stress of work and travelling.
Now Ellie was gone, and Derrick felt like she had gone completely. That he wouldn’t have her anymore in his life. Of course, this didn’t mean that she was instantly gone for good, but it felt like it. His chest was empty, his heart hollow.
If this was heartbreak, it was really painful. Derrick hated it.
Catherine had done a lot of damage. She was clearly upset about Derrick getting married, so she was making Ellie doubt everything. But how did she think things were going to go once Ellie had walked out of Derrick’s life?
Neither of them would be able to get a divorce without special dispensation, and even though Saxton was a good man who didn’t stand for fools, he wouldn’t divorce Catherine for someone else; it would ruin his reputation as much as Derrick’s. Catherine would come out the worst, but from the way she was behaving, she didn’t care.
Did she think the two of them were going to resume their affair with Ellie having left? They would still be committing adultery, but from the way Catherine was acting, she probably didn’t see it that way.
Derrick wanted to find her, put his hands around her neck, and squeeze hard. He was not a violent man, and he would never hurt a woman, but the urge to strangle the life from Catherine Saxton was great. She might think this was a bit of fun, and she always got what she wanted, but Derrick didn’t see it as fun.
If Ellie chose to believe the lies about the affair, Derrick would lose his wife for good. It wouldn’t matter that they would be husband and wife; she wouldn’t be able to trust him anymore. They would have nothing there, and Ellie wouldn’t be able to be in the same room without looking at him like he was one of the worst people she had ever met.
How could he convince her that he would never do that to her?
By the time the sun started peeking through the curtains and he heard the cockerel from the distant farm waking up with its usual screeches, Derrick was numb. He had no plan on what to do. His head hurt, and he was exhausted. Having Ellie around made him feel better, and then they would be able to talk it all out.
But when Ellie was the reason he felt like this and she wasn’t around? Derrick felt lost. He never thought he would rely on others for his emotional support once he became a grown man and wasn’t reliant on his mother anymore.
He missed her. Badly.
Would she come back?
It took forever to get up and get himself washed and dressed. Derrick didn’t want to do any of it. He just wanted to hide in his room and not come out. But being depressed and staying cooped up in his bedchamber wasn’t going to accomplish anything. It was best that he got up and figured out what to do next.
Hopefully, he could get Ellie to come back. But would she believe him?
Yawning loudly, Derrick headed downstairs. He was going to see his mother and ask her for advice. Lady Northampton was more practical than he was in times like this. She would also be less emotional, so she would be able to figure out a plan.
Derrick needed someone to be more levelheaded than him right now.
After calling for his carriage, Derrick had his hat and coat on and was leaving the house when he heard someone calling his name. Turning, Derrick saw Regina hurrying up the drive towards him. She dodged to the side as the carriage came around from the stables and almost bumped into her. Regaining her balance, Regina approached Derrick.
“Where are you going?” she asked. “Are you going to find Ellie?”
“Will she have gotten back to your father’s home by now?”
“I don’t know. If she’s been travelling all night, she might be there by lunchtime.” Regina brushed her hair out of her eyes as the wind caught random tendrils. She hadn’t bothered to put her hair up, so it was flowing about her shoulders. She looked pale. “Can we talk? I understand if you’ve got to hurry, but I want to say this before you leave.”
