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I snap my head around just in time to see Malix vanishing around Jaya’s tail, and my shame only grows. I look at Taraven and lick my lips, swallowing hard.
“Uh…can you pass me my clothes?”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
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MALIX
I should not be jealous. From the moment I met them, it has been obvious that Taraven and Frankie are together…
…so why do I feel excluded?
Why am I angry?
I came of age after the Lyra encountered humanity, yet I kept to the old ways. I could have indulged in intimacy at any time, gone to the Terran Quarter to drinkxhasaand fuck a willing human. There are enough humans in Saga that Icould have indulged.
But I didn’t.
And now I’m here on this alien ship, wanting…this—with who, I’m not sure—so badly. I race to my quarters in preparation to pack, and I find myself closing the door behind me and pacing in circles around the edge of this thing they call a bed in the center of the room.
I rake my hand back through my hair, then clench my chin hard, my fingers drifting over my lips.
If I forget where I am, if I empty my mind, I can pretend it’s someone else touching me.
I close my eyes and picture them instantly, Taraven hunched over Frankie, his hair falling forward as he plows into her. My cock twitches in my uniform, painfully restricted. I grope for the clasp of my pants and stumble against the wall, my mind bleary with fever.
Unbutton. Unzip. It happens like a dream, my cock falling hard into my outstretched hand.
I’ve never touched myself this way, never felt the need. Now, though, I’m desperate for release. I grip myself tight and run my thumb over the ridge on top of my cock, and I groan as I grasp the vines in the wall with my other hand, if only to keep myself standing.
I stroke myself carefully, deliberately. My breath hitches in my throat, and the fringe on my neck flares as that same soft, sensitive tissue expands on my cock as like a turquoise crest. I run my hand up and down my shaft, burying my face against the soft moss and vines covering the wall.
Every time I close my eyes, I see them. I shouldn’t have watched. I shouldn’t have stood there in the shadows of Jaya’s tail, watching as they took off their clothes, as Frankie climbed astride Taraven and tilted her head back in the flickering lights of the aurora borealis.
But I watched.
And now I’m cursed to revisit that moment until I find my own release.
I quicken my pace, my brow furrowing. My cock is so hot that it almost burns my skin, my heart racing. I moan and imagine myself not alone, but with Taraven at my back, Frankie in front of me. Desire courses through me.
I thrust my hips and find completion, shooting into the moss. For a moment, stars spin around my head, and I feel Frankie and Taraven as if they’re right here in the room with me. I thrust again and again, wishing there was something more than my hand to bury myself in.
I open my eyes and remember where I am.
It occurs to me that it may have been rude to come on the floor of a living ship.
“Apologies,” I murmur, going immediately to the attached bathroom. I rush to find a cloth, but I can’t seem to find where I made a mess in the room; the foliage is too soft and dense on the ground. It disgusts me.
I cringe and go back to the bathroom, then press a button to fill the tiny pool with water to splash onto my face. As the water stills, I see my own reflection there, my silhouette wavering at the edges. It is exactly how I feel—like I’m blurring at the boundaries of myself, like something within me has changed and is fighting its way out.
Or perhaps…something else is trying to get in.
I change into a new uniform to try and shake off whatever is wrong with me, pacing once again around the edge of my bed. I don’t want to run into Frankie or Taraven; I know they saw me watching, and I feel like such a fool. But I also can’t stay here, on this ship that seems to know my desires better than I know them myself.
I have to get out—away.
I spin to go toward the door, and it opens as if it’s reading my mind. I glare at the walls around me only to find that the passage has changed entirely, and that pink flowers grow in a trail along the wall, sweet scents wafting through the humid air toward me.
