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I ignored him.
“Clearly, we’d both rather pretend the other doesn’t exist, but you can’t completely avoid me when I’m First Immortal,” said Cael.
“Yes, I can.”
“Not in public. Think how suspicious it would look if you selected a man you clearly despise. So, can we both agree to just pretend?”
I met his gaze. I was used to pretending. I was still pretending I didn’t know about my father’s lies, and I suspected Cael hadalwayspretended not to know. “I can do that.”
“Good.” He nodded. “Oh, and that reminds me. I wasn’t pretending to be an Enforcer. I became a member of the Academy so that my selection as Immortal would be convincing.”
Back when I had smaller concerns, it would’ve made me furious that Cael had gone against my direct orders and sworn an oath of loyalty to the Immortals and the king by joining the Academy, but now it hardly made an impact. At least now I knew where he’d gotten the uniform and the second pistol.
“That was risky,” I said. “You can’t get a job like that and take off for three weeks and expect them not to notice.”
“The Eleventh House is always overlooked. A Ruskin’s disappearance won’t be nearly as suspicious as yours if they noticed,” he said. “Of course, you never made the habit of leaving your house anyway. But if the king died—”
“The Enforcers on Ash Island were looking for me,” I said, realizing I had to tell him. “They know I’m missing.”
Cael rolled his eyes. “We better find a way to explain your absence, then.”
He was right. If I just showed up outside the wall after Graham’s disappearance, all suspicion would immediately jump from Maeve Brennin to me. And I refused to let that happen when all I wanted was to get back to Graham.
“I have an idea,” I said, “but I’ll need a gown.” I told Cael my plan and he went up on deck, leaving me alone in the creaking cabin.
The truth was that I had a lot of ideas, but I wouldn’t be sharing them all with him—or with my father. Even if I had to do it alone.
Graham wasn’t the only one I’d failed. I remembered the promises I’d made to Lachlan and Cait. I said I’d get her out of prison, and I still meant to. I could help them both.
“I’ll fix it,” I said out loud to no one. “I’ll fix everything.”
I had to repair all the damage Bryn Yarrow had done. A better person could rise in her place.
* * *
We pulledthe boat into the cave on Cambria in the rainy gray afternoon the next day. Cael left for the city while I waited.
When he returned to the cave, hours later, he wore a clean uniform and held a ruffled red gown. It was one of mine that I’d never worn. “Your father wants to see you, but he’ll have to wait until they bring you home to avoid suspicion.”
“Of course,” I said in a monotone.
“Also,” said Cael, “the king’s dead.”
I was quiet. I could only think of Graham.
Cael unrolled the dress, then pulled out his pistol and shot a hole in the left side, right where my wound would be when I wore it.
I took off my bandage and changed into the dress, my side aching, then wove my hair into braids and pinned them up on my head. We left the cave and walked for about half a mile until we came to a rocky headland. The fishing marina was on the other side.
I nodded to Cael, who headed up the opposite way, and waded into the water. The red dress billowed up, absorbing the seawater as I went deeper. The layers of fabric weighed me down and I was afraid it would drag me to the bottom of the sea if I tried to swim, so I was careful not to go too far. I ducked my head under the water to get my hair wet, then came back up, the water at my neck.
I waded around the headland and aimed for the marina. As the water grew shallower, I crawled along the sand.
When I made it to the beach, I collapsed on my belly, breathing hard.
It didn’t take long for the shouting to start.
“Look!”
