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“But I got there first.”
Cait rested her head against the bars and sighed. The rest of her story was clear enough, but I wondered what had become of Lachlan. Was he going about his life with the guilt constantly beside him? I pressed my hands against my heart, feeling the pain of Cait’s story as if it were my own.
“Ready to tell us why you’re here, Bryn?” Al said from the other side of the wall.
Cait, who had a view of both of us from her cell, shook her head. “Not everyone’s as willing to confess as you are.”
I never liked to reveal my secrets, but after hearing Cait’s story, I felt like mine was almost entirely impersonal, and I didn’t have to tell themeverything. “I broke into the Academy and stole a forbidden book.”
I watched her expectantly, but it was Al who reacted first. “Away with ya! We’re friends, ain’t we? Tell us the truth!”
Cait kept her round brown eyes locked on mine. “I think sheistelling the truth.” She had a satisfied smile on her face, but I didn’t know if it was because she was right or because of what I’d done.
“Blimey,” said Al.
“Impressive,” said Cait.
“Impressive? It was the most idiotic thing I’ve ever done.” I felt my shame and frustration return. My motives had been much less admirable than Cait’s.
“You took a bit of power from those useless Immortals, so I’d consider that a success,” she said.
If that had been my goal, I might’ve agreed with her. I pushed my hands to my forehead. “I let my emotion override logic, and nothing’s worse than that.” I still didn’t understand the feelings that had overtaken me that night, but I couldn’t seem to separate them from the name pacing through my mind.
“I know that’s what you’ve been taught,” Cait said softly. “It’s what we’ve all been taught, that logic and intelligence are everything. But look at what that belief has created.”
I wasn’t ready to believe her. If I let emotion propel me, who knew what other life-destroying decisions I’d make. I put my head on my knees, wondering why someone from the Academy hadn’t shown up to question me yet. It was bound to happen soon, and when it did, it would all be over for me, my mission dashed to an irreparable defeat.
ChapterNineteen
Breakfastthe next morning was no different than the previous day, except that I found a fish tail in my bowl instead of a head. A small improvement. I scooped it out and dropped it on the table.
“Nice one!” Al picked up the tail, admiring its size. “Best I ever found was a crab claw. I stuck it in my pocket and entertained everyone for a whole day by pullin’ on its little claw strings.”
“Well,hewas entertained,” said Cait, “but the rest of us wished the ‘singing claw’ could’ve been a little less tone-deaf.”
The others at the table nodded vigorously, but Al laughed, snorting stew out his nose. “Ha! The singin’ claw was brilliant.”
I laughed with him, unable to resist his enthusiastic wheeze. A part of me, albeit a tiny, almost nonexistent part, wished I could stay here. These people made me feel new, like I could become a different person. It didn’t make sense to feel happy and free while in prison, but there was something strangely liberating about having nothing to control. For once, I could sit back and let fate take the reins.
I looked down at the sludge in my bowl. I was afraid I’d become too hungry to turn it down any longer. I hesitantly lifted a spoonful to my mouth. Al and Cait watched me, waiting for a reaction.
I fought the urge to gag. “It’s actually . . . not bad, for stewage.”
Al patted me on the back. “That’s my girl.”
When breakfast ended and they returned me to my prison cell, I sat on the floor absent-mindedly weaving my hair into braids. Maybe I was already losing my mind.
“How much longer do you have in here?” I asked Cait.
She was in the cell across from me again. She lay on her back, tossing a clamshell from her stew up at the ceiling and catching it with the opposite hand. “Most likely a whole lot longer.”
“But you just cheated,” I said. “It’s not like you murdered a noble.”
“Justcheated? What I did undermined the Cambrian ranking system and challenged the Academy.”
“Then why didn’t they banish you?” I knew of people who’d been outlawed for less.
“I don’t know.” She threw the clamshell and caught it again. “I’m sure I’ll be here until I die.”
