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Take the risk. Take the risk of ruining his career and losing hockey? Hockey was what made Mason happy. It had been since we were kids. And he was suddenly okay with giving that up?For a man?
Could it be that easy? To just say “fuck it” and throw all caution tothe wind?
No, that was impossible. Right?
“Riley?” Drew’s voice brought me back to the present. It didn’t sound like it was the first time he’d called my name.
The boys were looking at me with concern. I must have been staring through them. I backed up. I hit a wall then corrected my route and reversed farther out ofthe room.
“That’s good,” I whispered, not looking at either of them. I nodded to myself. “That’s good. You shouldbe happy.”
I staggered away and dodged Mason when he stood up to follow me. I was supposed to be celebrating with them. This was about their future, not me. I knew how hard this had to be for Mason; we had been talking about thisfor years.
He’d never wanted to risk it before, and he had no reason to; he never had a boyfriend before. Especially not one that would have asked him to come out for them. He had never been in love before, but he was now. And he wanted to enjoy life withhis love.
I wanted to carve outmy heart.
The world swirled.
“Excuse me,” I murmured to the air.
When I looked up, I was in my car. I pulled away from the curb and sped towardthe rink.
Malcolm, one of the security guys, seemed surprised to see me. That was understandable. It was barely eight in the morning; morning practice wasn’t for a couple more hours, the game even further away.
“Warren? This is a little early, even for you,” he said from the other side of the metaldetector.
“Yeah. I just need to do a few things, Malcolm. Is thatall good?”
“Sure.” He shrugged and let me through security. I nodded my thanks and went down the hallway, except unlike usual, I turned down a different hall and worked my way up to the upper levels ofthe arena.
I popped out of the maze at the concessions level. This was where thousands of fans came through to attend our games, and I knew it like the back of my hand. I walked a few sections to the left then headed downthe aisle.
Section D, row one, seats four through seven.
It was like the seats lit up the whole arena as I approached them. They were so full of memories, and when I sat down, they all came rushing back. Despite the years I had practically lived in them, or maybe because of them, I didn’t remember the first time I sat in these seats. They just always … were. They were as much a part of my childhood as my favorite stuffed tiger, Lion.
I ran my hands across the cold, blue metal seats. Seat five was mine; Drew would sit to my left, our mom next to him, Dad on my right. Most of the time, my parents would buy a couple more seats for Mason and his mom as well.
You could always find our family at the rink on game days, junk food and homemade signs in hand. Not even work or school could keep us away. My parents always made time for theBlizzards.
It was odd being here without them, looking out on the dimly lit ice that I had actually played on. The rink had lost some of its ethereal quality. It was no longer the place where I saw Quinn score the winning goal of the 2006 Stanley Cup or where Goss blocked a bullet of a shot from Brockovich. At least it wasn’t only that place anymore.
It was also where I started my first NHL game. And lost. Where I took a puck to the mask and had my team abandon me. Where I made my friends other than Mason. Where I played my first NHL shutout.
Where I broke the heart of the man I was inlove with.
I drew my feet onto the chair and hugged my knees to my chest. The silence of the rink echoedaround me.
“Boo,” Drew said and dropped down beside me. “Did I scare you?”
“You would have if you hadn’t called me five minutes ago to tell the guard to let you in.”
“What is his name again?” Drew asked and settled into his seat. It was weird to see him here again. Not a lot of my memories of this place involved Drew; he was never the biggest hockey fan. Or he just wasn’t a big fan of coming to the arena allthe time.
“Malcolm.”
“Right. Malcolm said I was free to stay as long asI wanted.”
