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Finn’s hand freezes in midair, his eyes snagging on mine, his chest no longer moving. He’s stopped breathing.
“What did you just say?” he asks, so softly that I almost miss it.
“I said that I want you to tell people that yourboyfriend…” Oh. Oh shit. Yes, we didn’t discuss this. I discussed it with myself in my head but never actually uttered the words. It’s a problem I have.
“I mean, you know…um, well, we don’t have to label it. If you don’t want to.”
“Shut up,” Finn says and then reaches out gripping my chin. “Tell me again. Say it.”
“I said…we’re boyfriends.”
That serious face transforms, his lips turning up at the corners, breaking into a glorious, bright smile.
“Hell yeah,” he says. “Boyfriends.”
He says that word almost reverently, rolling it across his tongue, feeling it. Tasting it.
“So, we’re a thing? That’s okay with you? Because we were a thing when you first sucked my cock, Finn. Just so you know.”
“Yeah, you’ve been my thing for a while.”
“Yeah?” I say, scooting as close as I can to him. “How long?”
He swallows and his eyes slide away from mine.
“Oh my god, Finn. Howlong?” I ask, desperate to know. My exploding stomach is forgotten and now all I can focus on is prying this information from Finn.
“Tell me.”
He runs a hand across his jaw. “Since I first laid eyes on you.”
The world stops, the Earth frozen in orbit, and I just stare at my best friend. My boyfriend.
“Are you for real?” I whisper, and Finn clears his throat, glancing at me and then turning his gaze away from me once more. But I don’t let him escape. No, I grab his face with both my hands and force him to look at me.
“You’ve wanted me since middle school?”
“Maybe.”
Oh my god. Oh my god. I can’t believe it. Why didn’t he tell me? Did he keep his feelings secret this whole time?
“Finn. Why didn’t you tell me?”
His eyebrows meet and I want to throttle him. Is he for real? We could have been fucking this whole time. Could have been kissing and doing all sorts of romantic things, like going to prom together or I don’t know…anything couples do through high school and college.
“Finn, we could have been together this whole time. We could have beenfuckingthis whole time.”
He freezes, his body stiff and unmoving and his voice comes out dark and cold.
“Is that all this is to you? Fucking?”
Oh, sweet Jesus, this ridiculous, overthinking man. Always doing this shit.
“Of course not. Fucking is a benefit. You’re my boyfriend now. But we could have been boyfriends for years! We could be married by now!”
Finn just watches me, those gears in his head turning rapidly.
“Are you serious right now? Or are you just teasing me?”
