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“I missed you. You’re home,” he says, his voice cracking.
I bury my face in his hair and inhale deeply, holding him to me, feeling my heart stitching back together each second I’m with him.
Him.
Home.
Always my home.
“You’ve lost weight,” Landon says when he pulls away from me. In the background, I make out Logan and his parents, but my gaze swivels back to Landon.
Sweet, perfect Landon.
“I haven’t been doing well…”
Landon’s eyes widen and he presses into me again, his head resting on my heart.
“I’ll make it better…you’ll be back to your old self now that you’re here.”
He doesn’t understand how true that is. Because now that I’m with him, I can start living again.
* * *
That night, when I’m tucked away in bed, when the house is finally asleep, Landon sneaks into my room and slips beneath my covers. I can feel him, even though he’s not touching me. I can sense his presence.
My breath catches in my throat with him this close to me and under the cover of darkness, too. The things we could do together, what no one would see. If only he’d let me. If only he’d want me.
“You okay?” I ask, clutching onto my pillow and staring at the shape of him.
He wiggles around, his foot knocking into me, and then he shuffles a little closer.
“I just can’t believe you’re here,” he whispers. “It’s a dream.”
God, yes, it is. I still pinch myself to see if I’m asleep.
“Can I stay with you tonight?” he asks, moving even closer to me until I’m panting. His arm brushes against mine and I can smell him. God, to press my lips to his skin, to taste him.
“Of course,” I reply as evenly as I can and Landon smiles at me.
“Good, because I couldn’t sleep in my own room knowing that you’re right down the hall.”
And I couldn’t sleep knowing he was just two doors down, but had been too paralyzed to actually get up and go to him.
“You can stay in here any time.”
Landon wraps his arms around me, squeezing me tightly before letting me go and shuffling back to his side of the bed. I wish he’d stayed against me so I could hold him all night.
But this, right here, is as close as I’ll ever get. Never more.
Nothing more.
I vow to savor every moment I get with him.
So I keep my heavy eyelids open and watch the soft rise and fall of his breaths until he falls asleep.
nineteen
LANDON
