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I didn’t like sitting back and not fixing things. I never had. When Liam had transitioned, I’d read every freaking thing I could about it, and had gone with him to his appointments and made sure that his doctors were treating him right all through getting on T and during his top surgery. When the twins had an issue at school, I let their parents deal with it first, but I also made sure they were okay, and knew that I supported them. If something was broken in the guest house, I tried to fix it first using online instruction videos before asking Mark to take a look. More than once at the bookstore when Joy was busy, I’d helped a customer and just pretended I worked there. Kendra had to tell me to stop because she couldn’t afford to hire me.
I liked fixing things. I liked helping. Letting Honor work out her own shit went against my natural instincts.
“I don’t like it,” I said.
Sydney patted me on the arm. “I know, I know. Would some food make you feel better?”
“Yeah,” I said. “And maybe a nap. Sometimes I wonder if I’m just an overgrown toddler.”
“We all are,” Syd said, going to the fridge.
* * *
Sydney madea quick chopped salad with what she had on hand and we ate it out of big bowls with lots of croutons while Clementine begged at our feet until Syd put food in her bowl.
“And how about you? Seen anyone who strikes your fancy?” I asked. Enough about me. I was curious what was going on with her.
She shrugged and picked up a crouton with her fingers, crunching down on it.
“I don’t know. I guess I like to keep things casual.”
“And have you been casual with anyone recently?” I asked.
She shook her head. “No. Maybe I’m getting too old for hookups.”
“You’re twenty-six,” I said. “You’re hardly decrepit.”
“I just want to go to a bar and have a quick and hot fuck in the bathroom, is that too much to ask?” Sydney said, setting down her empty bowl.
“You can go out and do that, you know,” I said.
She sighed. “I guess.”
“Go get it,” I said, bumping her shoulder. “You’re young and you’re hot and you should have what you want. I fully support your sexcapades.”
Sydney snorted. “I’ll think about it.”
“Would you like Joy and I to go with you?” I asked. “I mean, we’d stay at the bar and let you do your thing, but we could be your wing women. Since we didn’t do any of that on our vacation.”
“You’d get me laid? Aw, you’re such a good friend,” Sydney said, giving me a hug.
“I’ve got your back, doll,” I said.
* * *
I still didn’t havea clear course of action, but I stopped by to see Joy near the end of her shift.
“There have been developments with Honor,” I said as she organized the children’s area. Kids were always pulling the stuffed animals and toys out to play with, so keeping the area clean was a constant struggle. “I talked to Syd, so she can fill you in.”
“Do you need advice?” Joy asked.
“No, I think I’m going to just wing it,” I said. “Syd told me to do nothing, but that’s not really my style.”
“Your style doesn’t always work,” Joy pointed out.
“Hey, that’s rude,” I said, but she waited patiently. “Okay, fine. You may be right. But I don’t have to like it.”
“That’s fair,” Joy said with a laugh.
