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At least Ifound the restaurant, which was at the end of a strip mall of stores.
I let Nicole know I was there, and also sent a message to Layne and Joy as I always did when I had a hookup, letting them know where I was. You could never be too careful.
Nicole told me she was already inside waiting, so I checked myself one more time in the mirror and headed for the restaurant.
I pushed through the door and was hit by a rush of warm air.
“Sydney?” a sweet voice said. I turned and saw a woman who matched the pictures I’d seen online. She was shorter than me and had generous handfuls of curves that I couldn’t wait to touch. My mouth started watering just thinking about it.
“Hi, nice to meet you,” I said, leaning forward to give her a hug. She hugged me back and I breathed in the scent of her ash-blonde hair. Lovely.
She pulled back from the hug and smiled at me. There was a little gap between her front teeth that was so completely charming, I was patting myself on the back for reaching out to her. I had excellent taste.
A hostess took us to our table, and we made small talk until we ordered. I knew a lot of people hated small talk, but I loved everything about meeting someone new like this. Nicole was exactly what I’d wanted. Bubbly, funny, and completely adorable.
“And that’s how I ended up with five cats,” she said, finishing a story about coming home and finding a strange cat in her house that ended up having kittens in her closet a few hours later.
“I’d love to see pictures,” I said. Nicole smiled and showed me dozens of pictures of the mama cat, Pasta, and her kittens: Penne, Macaroni, Ravioli, and Spaghetti.
“I just have my guy, Clementine,” I said, showing her pictures of him.
“Aw, he’s just a big orange boy,” she said.
“He is,” I said.
Our food arrived and everything was going right, but I couldn’t ignore a nagging doubt in the back of my head that kept getting louder and louder.No, I told it.I want to be here. I want to have sex with this woman. I want it very much. There is nothing wrong with this desire. Shut the fuck up and let me get laid.
I kept a smile on my face and listened to Nicole and leaned forward when she asked if I wanted a bite of her pancakes and toasted her with my mimosa.
We finished our plates and I told her I’d take care of the bill. She blushed so prettily and I knew I wanted to kiss her.
“What are you doing for the rest of the afternoon?” I asked.
Nicole’s dark brown eyes sparkled. “Absolutely nothing. I live close by, if you wanted to come over for some…tea.”
“That sounds perfect,” I said, even though the doubt had now developed a voice that screamedno it’s not!
I ignored it.
* * *
When we got outside,I told Nicole I’d meet her at her place so I could have my car. She gave me the address and I put it into my phone’s GPS. It was only ten minutes away.
The doubt voice yammered away as I drove and then parked in a driveway behind the car I’d seen Nicole get into. Her house was a tiny little cottage that looked a little shabby, but had flowerpots on the small porch, and a sweet fenced-in yard.
“Get out of the car, Sydney,” I said to myself as my hands gripped the steering wheel. The little doubt voice had now morphed into a racing heart, a churning stomach, and damp palms.
“What is wrong with you?” I asked myself. “Just go in the house and have sex with the pretty girl. You have done this before a million times.” Maybe not that many, but still. It was a lot. So what the hell was wrong with me now? Nicole was incredibly sexy, we’d had a great time, but I could not get out of this car.
“Fuck,” I said, slamming my forehead against the steering wheel. The horn beeped and I slammed my head two more times for good measure.
I can’t do this.
I couldn’t go into this perfectly nice home with this perfectly nice girl and have perfectly nice sex.
I’m so sorry, but I need to head out. Everything was great, but I’m just not ready to be vulnerable with someone right now. I’m so sorryI sent to Nicole and then turned my notifications off as I backed out of her driveway and went back to Arrowbridge.
* * *
