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“We need to find some girls your age,” I said, with one eye on the batter and the other on her irritated expression.
Kendall huffed. “How are we going to do that? You don’t know anyone here anymore.”
I knew Sophie. Maybe I could ask her. She had younger sisters, but they’d probably be too old for Kendall. “We’ll figure it out together. In the meantime, you can hang out with me.”
She huffed a second time, but I got the impression she was pleased. Melanie had worked full time, and I often wondered if Kendall was left to roam the neighborhood with her friends all summer. That was a recipe for trouble. I didn’t want that for her.
I didn’t have a job yet, but I had some time to figure things out. I toyed with the idea of going to school, too. I’d wait until Kendall was settled in first. Then I’d figure out my life. Right now, I needed to reestablish a relationship with my daughter. I needed to ensure that she felt safe and secure. I wanted her to be happy.
The idea of starting over rested heavily on my shoulders. I loved the military enough to be a lifer, but Kendall changed everything. I wasn’t okay with missing her grow up. I wanted to be more than a part-time dad.
I had a box of letters she’d sent over the years. They started out as hand-drawn pictures and had evolved over the years to letters where she told me about everything. As she got older, they got shorter and less frequent. She was growing up and away from me.
I only had this time with her. I was going to make it count.
* * *
As I drove toward my childhood home, my stomach tightened. I left town at eighteen because my dad issued an ultimatum, and I wanted to be free of his control. The only option that made sense was enlisting in the military. The recruiting officer said I’d earn a good paycheck, they’d shape me into a man, and, in the end, I’d have a marketable skill. I could even go to college.
I wanted to be independent, but I also loved the idea of belonging to something bigger than myself. I immediately felt like part of a large family, one that accepted me no matter what my homelife was like. I was following someone else’s commands, but I’d never felt so free and proud of who I’d become.
If I’d stayed at home and worked in my father’s lumber business, I would have felt stuck. My dad had this way of making me feel less than, like nothing I could do would ever please him. Even with Sophie here, I would have always wondered what else was out there.
Now that I’d seen the world, I knew the only thing that mattered was my daughter, and making her feel safe, secure, and happy. I wouldn’t be like my father. I wanted her to want to be around me. Not escape as I had at eighteen.
I pulled down the long drive of the property that doubled as my father’s home and lumber company.
“This is huge,” Kendall said.
My parents usually flew out to see Melanie and Kendall, so she’d never been here. I felt a pang that she’d missed knowing her grandparents better.
We passed several large buildings where supplies and equipment were held. The lane was long and dusty and frequented by large trucks. Finally, the family home came into view.
“I can’t believe you lived here.”
“It wasn’t quite this large when I lived here, but yeah, it was a lot.” I couldn’t escape my father’s expectations that I’d take over the business one day.
I wanted to have options, and if I’d stayed here, I wouldn’t.
I parked my truck in front. “Are you ready for this?”
Kendall looked from the house to me. “Are you?”
I chuckled without any humor, amazed that Kendall sensed it was difficult for me to be here. “My father and I didn’t always see eye to eye.”
That was an understatement. He wanted me to work at the lumberyard, not play sports or be involved in activities. He hated that I was seeing Sophie. He disliked anything that kept me away from my responsibilities.
Kendall touched my hand and then opened her door to slide out. I sensed it was her way of telling me she was here with me. We were a unit. I let that idea settle in my chest.
She waited at the hood of the truck for me to join her. With a nod, I continued toward the porch, taking a deep breath before I knocked.
Kendall raised a brow at the move. She was probably wondering why I didn’t feel comfortable walking inside.
Mom opened the door. Her eyes widened as she took me in, and then she enveloped me in her arms. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
Mom never wanted me to leave, but she wanted me to be happy. She’s the one who sent care packages and letters updating me about the town and Sophie.
As much as it hurt to hear about Sophie and to know she didn’t want to hear from me personally, I ate up every tidbit I got.
