Page 61 of Bitter Notes


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“Pretty Girl, that thing is so damn cracked and beat up,” Rad says, closing his eyes with a yawn. “We’ll get you a new one….” his voice trails off when his hand brushes up and down my thigh, slowly stopping when Rad completely conks out and snores.

“Fat chance,” I mumble, unlocking my phone. Peeking behind me, I make sure Callum’s face stays buried in my neck, and he slowly drifts off with even breaths.

Swiping on my cracked screen, I bring the message up and wrinkle my nose.

Van: I need to talk to you.

Van: Why won’t you talk to me anymore, Riv?

Van: You’re like a stranger.

Van: Please talk to me.

Van: I saw you go to Callum's, Rivey…..

I shake my head and silence my phone. I don’t need Van in my ear, whispering things I don’t want to hear. He broke my heart. He’s the one who left me because his parents couldn’t stand the fact I was who I was. And now he’s suddenly crawling back on his hands and knees, begging me to talk to him?

Hell no.

Van Drake can drown in the depths of the misery he put me through.

IfIneverhadto step foot into a classroom again, I’d be fucking ecstatic. Why can’t I move on with my life without the hassle of a degree in hand? I would have rather gone to trade school and learned to weld. Then, I would have been at work, already making my money. But instead, I’m stuck in a prison of expectations and no way out. Leaning my head back against the side of the Tahoe, I soak in the late summer sun and close my eyes.

“It’s important, Kieran!” my mother hisses in my ear the moment Nigel tells us we were attending college right after high school graduation. And given the fact I didn’t apply to any sort of college; it meant Nigel stuck his nose in something he shouldn’t have. He was probably using the green lining of his wallet to get us into the college of his choosing–sans applications. Standing under the blaring May sun, a warm breeze passes over us. I haven’t even taken my robes off. I had no plans to attend regular college. In fact, they knew I wanted to leave. Maybe live on the other side of the country, but they’ve again tied my hands financially. “This will give you a much better life than I had. Don’t dive back into the gutter I got us out of.”

“Yeah? By what? Spreading your legs to that monster,” I hiss back, earning a sharp slap across the face.

“I will not let you fail. No way, no how. Nigel made us a good life here,” she says in a haughty tone, lifting her chin.

I eye every inch of her overly made-up face and scoff, counting the marks lining her cheeks and under her eyes. Deep purple bruises shine under the sun, letting the world know what goes on behind closed doors.

“Yeah? And at what cost, Gloria? So, he can hit you every day? Hit me? And Asher? What about Camilla? What will you do when he lays his hands on my little sister?” I step up to her, towering above her with gritted teeth.

Her face falls, and I know I’ve hit a nerve, but she backpedals, waving a hand like it’s not a big fucking deal that he does what he does. She has no idea I hear the awful words he shouts at her behind the bedroom door. How can she act like this is all okay? How can she sit there and pretend he’s not the bad guy? Fuck. I thought graduating high school would get me the fuck out of here, but now I’m even more stuck than before.

“Don’t be so obtuse, Kieran.” With that, she spins on her thousand-dollar high heels and struts away toward the man who has become nothing more than a nightmare.

I grit my teeth at the raw memory resurfacing from absolutely nowhere. The last thing I want to think about is the man I’m bound to because my mother purposely got pregnant by him years ago. Through the years, he’s molded her into the perfect wife and Camilla into the perfect, dutiful daughter. Asher and I have silently resisted every command he’s given at every damn turn. I’ll be damned if I become his perfect stepson. And Asher feels the same. That clawing desperation closes my throat when the man in question peeks out the upper-story window, watching us as he always does with a sharp eye. He scowls when Cami bounces on her toes with excitement, staring up at Asher and me like we’re saints. Big blue eyes meet mine when she stops in front of us and gives us a toothy grin.

“Cami,” I murmur, watching my sister jump excitedly in front of us with a large pink bouncy ball in her hands.

“Kieran. Ash,” she says in a small voice, shrinking in on herself when she peeks up at the window looming above us, and suddenly, our warm and happy sister disappears.

“It’s okay, Cam,” Asher whispers, reaching out and touching her arm. She relaxes at his touch, scrunching her face when she sighs, looking up at the window above us again with apprehension and nodding. “He’s in there. We’re out here. We’ll always protect you, right?” She nods, nibbling on her bottom lip, knowing it’s the truth. I’d protect my sister to the ends of the earth, even making sacrifices I shouldn’t. Whatever those might be.

“How’d your project go?” I ask, sparking a light in her big blue eyes.

“I turned in my project today at school and got an A+!” she says with a beaming grin, pride puffing out her chest.

“Good job! See, you did it all on your own,” I say, ruffling her long brown hair until she playfully swats me away with a little grunt.

“Good job, Cam,” Asher says with encouragement, squeezing her shoulder.

“Better go play while you can, okay? We’ll be back later. You have more homework?” I ask, discreetly watching the old prick glaring down at us. To him, it’s like having a good time is a fucking crime, especially on his own lawn.

“Yeah,” she says, furrowing her brows. “It’s science.” Her face scrunches when she says that, but she quickly gets called by one of her neighborhood friends and takes off, leaving us with him and the weight of his intense stare beaming down on us. I swear my skin catches fire when he shifts in the window, putting his hand in his suit pockets.

“Get a life, old man,” Asher grunts quietly, leaning against his Tahoe and shaking his head.

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