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“And what about what I want?” he asked me, his voice rising. “Do I have a say here?”
“But what about Simone, and your mother. What will she say if she finds out?”
“What does it matter?” Will asked. “The only thing that matters, is what we feel, how we feel about this. And I feel good, really good. I’ve been happier these past few weeks than I’ve ever been before. Seriously.”
“That’s just because you’re getting laid,” I said, slapping his chest lightly.
“No,” he said, refusing to take the bait. “It’s more than that. I like being with you and I like having you here. I know it’s early to be talking about this stuff, but I like being with you.”
I liked being with him too.
It wasn’t easy wrapping my head around the fact that this man, who was so different from anyone I’d ever gone out with, was making me feel things I’d never felt before. I cared about him, I enjoyed talking to him and spending quiet nights in front of the TV, curled up in his arms after Zoë was tucked in and asleep, finding shows that we both loved to watch.
“And Simone?”
“Either she’ll get used to it, or she won’t,” Will said. “But that won’t affect us. Promise me that?”
It wasn’t that easy for me though. I cared what other people thought and especially what my friends thought of me.
I sent Simone a text message saying that I would stop seeing Will if she wanted me to. She took a long time to answer me, almost a day, and that told me more about her feelings than anything else.
I was out in the Bronx, finally paying back the loan shark the money that I owed him. My first pay checkfrom Will, along with the little I’d managed to save, covered it. I was determined to be more responsible in future. That started with Will.
Finally, Simone’s answer came: Will would kill me if he knew I told you to dump him.
I answered, He wouldn’t have to know. I’ll tell him something else.
To which she replied, U really like him, for real?
I answered: I do.
She said: Then don’t mind me.
I couldn’t let it lie there.
But I do. Your opinion matters.
She had the final word: Just don’t hurt him.
Chapter 14
Will
I had it all delivered to the office so Nikki wouldn’t see.
The latest trainers from the most expensive brands to see which ones I liked best. Running shorts, vests, and windbreakers. I tried them on in the bathroom when no one was in the office and took a look at myself. I hardly recognized the dweeb in the mirror. My arms had no muscle tone, the skin was so pale as befitted a tech genius, which was the look I normally went for. Complete with laptop bag slung casually over the shoulders.
I almost chucked the gear back in the box and sent it back.
But I’d made a decision and I was nothing if not relentless in the pursuit of my goals.
But this objective proved to be a bit further out of reach than I’d anticipated.
On the first day, I left the office to go for a one-mile run.
That was not too ambitious surely?
For someone fit and strong, probably not.
