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I only needed the basic instincts to function between us, like a predator devours his prey.
And that was exactly what I was doing, wanting to look into her eyes as she was giving her final breath.
A tear shimmered in the corner of her eye, reminding me of the monster that I was.
That was pleasing me. I was on the right track when it came to self-control.
A saint could never rule over my kind of business. It took a demon, and that’s exactly what I was. Merciless. Wicked. Soulless.
It just made me cling harder to her hips, moving inside her with a wrecking pulse. I was finally searching for my own elation, but not before she would have her own. The memory of me had to be imprinted somewhere in the back of her mind so she would know that no other could ever be my equal.
Her treacherous breath was letting me know that she was close. Her fingers were digging into my skin as groans were reverberating from my throat. That melting pressure was building up within me, making me move fiercer until I felt her clenching over me, tightening so hard that I lost all control.
The surges of pleasure made me bury my head in the nap of her neck as she was purring the euphoria of her own release for minutes to come.
Fuck, she seemed so incredibly fragile in my arms, as if they were refusing to let her go. And maybe they wouldn’t. Maybe I would have stayed with her there for a few extra hours to test the limits of our deal again. I could have fooled myself for a little longer that I was prepared for it to end.
But her saying my thoughts out loud shook me from within.
‘Would you stay for a little longer?’ her voice warm, almost frightened of my response.
And it should have been.
It felt like pouring holy water on a vampire. I would have disintegrated should I have stayed next to her for a second longer. She wanted to push what we shared beyond sex and that, I could never allow.
I couldn’t even remember when I got dressed again. All I knew was that I had to get the fuck out of there. But not before I would make sure that she got the message. ‘Bea, there’s something you should know about me. I am a monster, and people don’t love monsters. They fear them.’ That was exactly what I wanted from her. No other feelings. Our deal was coming to an end and the sooner we both agreed on that, the better.
‘I’ll return with your family,’I muttered, closing the door behind me.
Chapter 33
Ifound myself in the driver’s seat with no idea of when or how I got there.
My veins were pulsing. My temples were burning. Hands sweating like I just got out of the gym.
I recognized the symptoms, along with the blur around me. I was having a fit of anger. Only this time around I was furious at myself.
Pushing my body harder in the seat, I tried to calm myself down without damaging my fucking brand-new car, or worse, running someone off the road.
I felt unable to breathe. Like nothing I could have done would help me to get enough air into my lungs.
Fuck, did I want a glass of whiskey!? But I was due to leave on a mission and from my internal turmoil, I knew I couldn’t have stopped at just one glass.
As an ultimate resort, I closed my eyes letting flashes of the entire evening run on repeat in the back of my mind.
It was just something that I needed to get out of my system.I kept repeating the words until finally, my breath began calming down.
With hands still shaking, I pulled the rearview mirror to face me, showing a face I always knew.
The face of a winner.
Be a fucking man Brax and get over it.
I was searching my pockets for a cigarette when I realized I was still in front of Bea’s apartment building. She must have thought I was a freak — and not in a good way.
My eyes wandered for a final time to take a glimpse at her window. I knew that I was going to return, but not as the same man. And it was all for the better.
I drove off, leaving a cloud of dust behind to set upon whatever madness might have come to haunt me. I needed to focus on something totally different and let guns replace my fists into a stress control therapy. And I had the best place to do that — Bea’s old home.
