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I was breaking her. Not with my body but with our connection. I was taking her too far, to a limit from where she couldn’t recover when I returned to being the usual fucked-up bastard. She was definitely feeling something for me except hate. And that feeling was leading the both of us down a dangerous road.
I could have lasted so much longer. Fuck, I was beginning to think I could have kept her there for a lifetime, but the distress in her voice was demanding me to hurry. Breaking through the boundaries of my pain once again, I caught her back to glue against the pool mosaic and drove myself a few more times within her, sinking my lips into her shoulders as the power of my ecstasy was making every muscle jolt with tsunami waves of ecstatic relief.
I just remained there, keeping her locked into the cage of my arms as the warm water served us as a blanket in our king-size bed. Because I wanted her in my bed the same way I wanted her in my life.
And as all dreams come to an end, so did ours as I encountered an all too familiar presence looking at us from the summer house. Ferris was there, and if I was to be honest, I figured I saw him standing there for a while. But I couldn’t stop myself from claiming every inch of her.
Besides, if he wanted more than a peek, he could have just joined us.
His presence didn’t affect me, but it affected Bea. In fact, so badly that she freed herself from my arms and supported herself on the pool border to get out.
‘I can’t,’ she cried out the words, preparing to run to the car.
Life was fucking things up for me on a new occasion, proving to me that women could not be trusted. The same way, I couldn’t trust her to have stayed and settled things with me and Ferris. She just ran away, the same way all females in my life did, leaving me in the company of the same old bottle of whiskey.
Well, cheers to me. I had just learned from another mistake.
I never went back inside Ferris’s summer house that night. Didn’t really find a use. And I certainly wasn’t able to indulge myself in a conversation with him, or with anyone else for that matter. I just wasted almost another fucking hour in that pool with false hopes that the water could ever wash Bea off me.
The path back to the car was a fucking nightmare as I was soaking wet and the temperatures outside were turning my own clothes into a prison of ice, tensing up my muscles and making my wound feelthat much better.
Not that any of that matter.
None of it could compare with what was inside me. The turmoil. The fucking desperation to stop the unstoppable.
Still, I had every reason to fight it.
That trembling in the pit of my stomach was warning me that I was heading on a one-way trip. I was fucking catching feelings for her. And I couldn’tdo feelings. Feelings eventually get you killed. I knew from the start what path I was choosing, accepting it for the rest of my life. There was no going back at that point anyway, and I wasn’t going to step in my father’s shoes and repeat his mistakes.
He might have been a bastard, but everyone knew he loved my mum in his messed-up way. And despite that, she left. She left him and her fucking child just because she couldn’t handle the life that my dad had chosen. The same life that I had chosen.
There were no happy ever after in my story. Things were simple. It was either greatness or feelings. And no woman deserved giving up my dreams to have her.
No need to mention that for the next day my schedule was a mess. So busy in fact that I was late for our meeting to work on the plan. Not that it needed much work. We basically just had to wait and see if Cole would get somethinguseful during the weekend out of the governor’s son, and only after that decide what to do next.
In reality, I was starting to believe I was making myself late on purpose. Seeing Bea after our pool time was making a state of anxiety grow within me. I had already smothered any version ofthe Braxthe whiskey had dragged out. We would never go back there again and still, there was something that wasn’t letting me either advance or return to what I was before her. It was like having a taste of a Michelin chef’s meal. No other food would ever taste the same... and no other woman would be her.
I walked into Ferris’s living room as if nothing had happened. Besides, I had much more important business to discuss that night regarding Cole. It had come to my attention for a few days that his father hasdonatedan impressive sum of moneyto my casinos. And I found it only fair to return it.
Business was business indeed, but I wasn’t going to take advantage of my friends. Therefore, I transferred the sums, this time to Cole’s bank accounts. I couldn’t have his father go to who-knows-where and lose the money again. Plus, it was about time Cole grew up and took things on his own shoulders.
Initially, he refused mypity.I was expecting that. I knew he might see things that way, even though for me it was just helping out a friend in a time of need. Still, I wasn’t the kind to ever accept no as an answer. The money was transferred anyway and just so that I didn’t get into any more useless discussions with Cole, I agreed that he would pay me back... eventually. More like hell would freeze over. But he didn’t really need to know that.
I was expecting it to be a quiet evening from there on. It had every chance to be so, except there was something wrong with Ferris. I noticed it ever since I came into the room.
Maybe it had something to do with seeing me with Bea. Or maybe he was just losing it again. One thing I knew. I needed to keep my eyes on him. And implicitly on her. Ferris tended to focus on her whenever he felt his power slipping away.
No matter what was going on between me and Bea, I wasn’t going to let him hurt her. After all, she did sign my ticket to success coming up with our small alliance.
I might have had power over Cole and Ferris. But nothing compared to what a good piece of pussy could achieve. And it seemed I did have a chance to play fucking hero that night since as soon as Bea left for the balcony, Ferris disappeared for a few minutes, just to return to the living room, excuse himself for the night and then follow her outside.
He was up to something. I couldn’t figure out what exactly. But I managed to keep an eye out for him and caught up with them out in the lobby.
I didn’t recall her having a drink. Yet she seemed almost wasted, like she had drained a whole bottle from when she went outside to the time I was seeing her.
Something was off, and I decided to find out how exactlyoffit really was.
‘Can you please come with me for a second?’ I asked Ferris to join me in a secondary room to settle things without having a cockfight in front of Bea.
