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“Nothing to worry about,” he says with a reassuring smile. “Although you did give me a scare. The doctor said you just passed out and that you need to take better care of yourself, that’s all. Everything is fine.”
“You brought me here?” I ask.
“Yeah, I found you passed out on the floor of your apartment when you didn’t come to the door.”
“You came to see me?” I don’t mean to sound as shocked as I feel.
Hunter lifts his hand to my face and sweeps away a strand of hair that is falling against my cheek.
“Yeah, I came to see you. Why didn’t you tell me that you are pregnant?” he asks softly.
Shit.
“I knew that it wasn’t something that you would want,” I answer, seeing no reason to lie about it anymore now that he knows. “I was sparing you the burden of needing to feel responsible for me and the baby. I know that you’ve already been down that road before.”
“I have, but I—”
I cut him off before he can say anything because I don’t want this to be any more complicated and difficult than it already is. I don’t want him to feel like he needs to lie to me or tell me that he is somehow madly in love with me and wants to be with me and start a little family that he will take care of. I don’t want to deal with any of this anymore.
“Look, Hunter,” I say as matter of fact as I can. “Thank you for bringing me here, and I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about my pregnancy. But honestly, it’s all okay. You don’t need to feel responsible for this in any way. I think that I have finally found myself and my independence and I can handle things from here. I have a new apartment, and a new job, and I am fully prepared to save you from the burden of another kid that you didn’t expect to have. I can take care of this baby all by myself.I don’t need you.”
That last part comes out sounding a bit harsher than I had intended it to, but it works to get the point across all the same.
For a split second, it almost looks like Hunter is a little heartbroken, but then his jaw quickly stiffens and his eyes narrow.
“Right, that’s good,” he says, looking at me as if he is lookingthroughme instead of directly into my eyes. “I don’t want to hold you back either.”
I have an overwhelming feeling of déjà vu, as we both repeat the same things and literally the very same mistake that we made years ago. Here we are, getting ready to walk away from each otheragain. Except this time, there’s an unborn baby mixed into the picture.
This isn’t at all what I meant when I was fantasizing about having Hunter’s baby and having a family together. But this is where we’re at.
I can’t help but feel heartbroken again, even though I have done everything in my power to protect against it. I don’t even really mean any of the things that I am saying. Thelastthing that I want is for Hunter to walk away from me again, especially not now when I am carrying his child. But I feel sure that it’s the right thing to do. I’m giving him a “free pass” and letting him off the hook so that he won’t wind up resenting me for trapping him just like Molly did.
He might have left me broken hearted before, but this time I am the one pulling the strings of it all. My brother’s voice echoes in my head though and reminds me that this would all be a lot easier if I did have some help, at least financially. And Hunter can certainly afford it.
“I could use some money, though,” I say as I tighten my jaw and try to think logistically instead of emotionally right now. “If you can give me some money to get by with all of this, then I can promise not to let anyone know that the baby is yours. Aside from my brother, it can stay a secret, and you can keep going on with pretending that you are an eligible billionaire and wealthy corporate figurehead instead of a single dad.”
I thought this would beexactlywhat Hunter would want, but the look on his face doesn’t seem too happy about it.
“Okay,” he says almost reluctantly. “Yeah, sure. I’ll give you however much money you need so that you don’t need to worry about that.”
He pulls a blank check out of his wallet and sets it down on the little table beside my hospital bed.
“Fill it out for however much you want,” he says with a forlorn chuckle. “The bank account won’t run dry.”
After that, Hunter stands up to leave.
I almost catch myself wanting to ask him to stay for a little longer, but there really isn’t anything else that we have to say to each other. So instead, I just watch him walk out the door.
“Oh, the doctor said that you’ll be discharged soon,” he says before heading into the hallway. “I’ve already texted your brother to come and pick you up.”
“Thanks,” I say, feeling miserable.
“Don’t mention it.”
With that, he disappears from view. As soon as he leaves, I burst into tears.
“Oh sweetheart,” the nurse says when she comes in a few minutes later and finds me still crying. “I know pregnancy can be scary, especially when you’re going it alone, but you’ll be okay.”
