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It’s a little bumpy, but the breeze feels too exhilarating; I could not bring myself to regret coming out here instead of staying back. I closed my eyes for only a second and I felt the rush of air against my helmet which blinded me for a second.
I began to go down fast, a little too fast, and that’s when I hear the loud voice of the instructor behind me, to the side.
I looked back and lost my footing; trying to right myself, but the damage had already been done. The slip in the snow, coupled with the wind, gathered enough snow to form a ball, and then the ball got bigger and bigger and followed my footstep. I tried to sidestep it as I heard Gigi’s screams and then the instructor’s instructions.
Their voices were a dull thud in the background, and the sound of the trailing snow was now like heavy drums; my heart was pounding in my chest when I realized I might die. My efforts to sidestep proved fruitless and the avalanche crashed on me. As I rolled and rolled, something hard hit my ribs, and then I heard a dull crack and felt a sharp pain in my leg before the world darkened.
Chapter 2
Vanessa
Iwalkintothehospital; my heart pounding and my head aching. For the former, I had a meeting with my supervisor, a meeting that would determine whether I would continue to be a nurse. And for the latter, as a recovering alcoholic, making progress slowly with each passing day, every morning felt like a hangover.
It felt like all eyes were on me even as I sneaked past the food court. There were still a few high-achieving nurses who didn’t take breaks. I wonder if Sally Jenkins, my supervisor, had called me in at lunch just to make me suffer even more.
There was a time I was a high-achieving nurse. All my superiors wanted me under their tutelage. I’d heard the whispered commendations of how I would one day become a matron and then a consultant nurse.
It was what I had worked for my whole life. I’d always wanted to be a nurse, but I also always wanted to be the best in everything I did. Top of my class at Cornell and then also top of my class in nursing school. It was a straightforward decision that the top hospital in the city would hire me after school.
Two years working here and I already achieved so much. Until late last year, when it all changed.
“Van, is everything all right? We heard what happened.” Drea, my self-proclaimed nemesis, and her friend, Mandy, who seemed to be attached to her hip, block my path just as I round the corner from the wards to Sally’s office.
The mockery in their voice is something I never look forward to. I am mad, but mostly at myself, so their mockery does not get to me. I am already at the lowest point in my life. There is no way they could make me feel worse.
“Get out of my way, Drea,” I say to her, in a deadpan voice.
“Oh, Van. That is no way to talk to one of the few friends you still have now, is it? Burning bridges will get you nowhere, even despite what you might have been through.”
I know what she is referring to, and I feel my anger bubbling to the surface. I force it down, pausing for a few seconds before I speak.
“Get out of my way before I make you.” My voice is threatening, even to my ears, and I revel in the fear I see in Drea’s eyes.
I had nothing left to lose here. There was no way I still had a job here. Mis-dosing a patient was not just grounds for being let go, you could have your license revoked from it. Sally was just calling to make it official. And the only reason I was here was to appeal to her to protect my license. I was nothing if I wasn’t a nurse.
“You know, now that everyone knows you aren’t Miss Perfect, you’d think your arrogance would get taken down a peg,” Drea added. I push her away before continuing, ignoring her gasp of outrage.
“Yeah? Come in.” Sally’s voice rings out when I knock. I open the door and she is setting her glasses down on the table before she looked up at me.
“Miss Hughes. Come in.”
Uh-oh. I think to myself. I’d lost my job if Sally was being this formal. She always called me Van.
“Hey, Sally,” I say, trying to sound familiar, as I try to break out a mild smile.
She gives none in response and simply glanced at the document in front of her before looking back up at me.
“Sit down, Vanessa.” She said as I was still standing by the door, then I hurried to take my seat.
“Am I fired?” Before she could say anything else, I ask her. “I know I am. I just–“
“Vanessa, you don’t think you’d be allowed to keep your job after what you did? You almost killed that kid. We’re lucky we don’t have a lawsuit on our hands or you would have lost your license.”
I stop when her words sink into me.
“Wait, I still have my license?” I ask her with a small sigh of relief.
“Barely. I had to pull in every single favor I had. The board was ready to send it to the union to get it revoked.”
