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“Ugh,” he grunts. “I had to eat. What did you want me to do?”
“Get a slice, man. Eat literally anything besides people.”
He starts advancing toward me. “You’ll be my next meal.”
I deploy my taser. Forty-two thousand volts hit him, and he goes down like a fucking sack of twitching shit, his wings moving in what looks to me like uncomfortable and unnatural ways.
Serves him fucking right.
I came here prepared. I have two sets of handcuffs, and I get them on both sets of wrists, cuffing him in the front. I’d usually go around the back, but the wings are in the way. I start reading him his rights before he stops twitching.
“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.”
“Let me go. You can’t take me into your station.”
“Why not?”
“I’m not human.”
“You’re human enough to speak English.”
“I’ll kill everybody I come into contact with. I’ll turn your precious station into a bloodbath. And it will be your fault.”
“Oh god.” I crouch down next to him. “Do you think you’re the first violent murderer I’ve encountered? You think your threats are original? Interesting? I don’t give a fuck if you’re a moth. You’re going to jail.”
His mouth opens, and I see inside his maw. Just behind his lips, there is a second set of surfaces pulsing hungrily, serrated cartilage and flesh. These must be the mouthparts Ilona was talking about. They’re gross, and they’re even more evidence, if I needed it, that I have the right flying man-monster in custody.
I call for backup. Again. This time, I am triumphant. I have overcome the monster. It’s all going to be okay.
“I’ve got him. I need a van and at least two units.”
There’s a brief pause from the dispatcher, who is far too professional to mention that I just called a few minutes ago and it led to nothing.
“Units on the way. Van en route.”
“You hear that, murder buddy? In a few minutes you’ll be nice and cozy in your very own cell, answering for the many crimes you’ve committed.”
“I can smell Justice’s seed on you,” Rage growls. “He always had a taste for stupid women. I think it makes him feel better about his own limited intellect.”
I let him talk shit. This time I’ve got him. This time there’s no way he’s getting away. Two sets of cuffs mean he’s not going fucking anywhere. I stand next to him, making sure he stays in one piece until backup arrives.
“What brings you all out here anyway? Can’t say we’ve seen your kind before.”
“Oh, you’ve seen our kind before,” Rage laughs. “You call them unsolved mysteries or urban legends. I am far from the first to give into the instinct to feed on you normies.”
“Normies?”
“Normal people. Cattle. Sheep. Humans. All the same thing. Underdeveloped. Undesigned. You’re produce, like lettuce. Nature made you lesser things to serve a higher purpose.”
This creature has an ego that will not quit.
“So this is like some kind of toxic cannibalism you’re into, huh?”
“Cannibalism is when you consume your own species. I am not of your species.”
“Okay, so why come to a city where you’re going to be noticed? Why not stay out in the woods of ass-fuck nowhere and pick off people without creating a federal investigation?”
“Why do your kind go to a bakery instead of foraging in a desert? The food is just better here.”
