Page 17 of Strong as a Horse


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Mates that felt the same way about me as I did them, and it wasanythingbut romantic.

I managed to push past them both and make it to our room before Zathrian stopped me.

“Nyla! What the fuck happened back there?!” he demanded. I’d never said out loud what was happening and neither did they, leaving poor Zath in the dark. Which also meant he wasn’t their mate. Only me.

Fuck, he wasn’t going to take this well. He’d been rejected by a former lover when he found new mates. Even if I wouldn't do that, his wounds were about to be as fresh as mine were.

“They're my mates.” His face paled at my words. Zathrian and I already had a complicated dynamic that we’d grown comfortable in. I figured with Lance in my past that he was it for me. And now the universe was cruel enough to throw these two at us.

This was not what I needed right now.

* * *

Zathrian

The moment the word ‘mate’came out of her mouth I felt my world crumble around me. We’d been dancing around this complicated, awkward relationship of ours for way too long for shit to change now.

And honestly, I loved Nyla and had–for the last four months–been trying to figure out how to tell her.

It was inevitable. Even if we lied to ourselves and said this was just a casual connection, the moment we’d solidified our bond was the moment that we were stuck together for life. We’d accepted it then and had formed this deep-rooted friendship that went beyond the realm of casual. But neither one of us was brave enough to rock the boat.

Now she had found two more mates. And they weren’t mine.

Was I going to be left behind?

Again?

“I need some air,” was all I choked out, handing over the paperwork to her and dropping my bags right there in the hallway before rushing for the stairwell. She’d have to lug it all inside alone and I knew she’d panic at my reaction, but I had to look out for myself now and it was all I could do to not break down.

I took the stairs two at a time until I managed to find my way outside to the courtyard. Two huge pools took up half the space, but to the left was a sprawling garden. I managed to make it to the bench before losing my composure completely. I was bent over, elbows on my knees and hands covering my face as I fought to keep my breathing normal and my thoughts from spiraling. The fact tears hadn’t broken free yet was a damn miracle.

Here I was, trying to give Nyla some comfort and wisdom and it was biting me in the ass. How could I look at her and tell her that she’d have to face her feelings when I had yet to do the same? It had been three years since the breakup I went through. If you could even call it that. And within one moment, it was all right there at the surface again.

My chest ached like someone had cracked open my rib cage and torn my heart from my chest, squeezing it between their fingers until there was nothing left.

Back then I was young and stupid. I should have never agreed to be someone’schosenmate, not when fated mates were a thing. But I naively thought that we had a deep connection and it wouldn’t matter if we found mates in the future, we were meant to be together, just in a different way.

Sawyer said he loved me, and I loved him.

But then it was gone in an instant.

I could still hear his words in my head as he sat me down. From the way he stared at me with guilt in his eyes, I should have known it would be serious. Finding mates was an inevitability we both knew we’d have to face one day. Hell, I’d never heard of a soul-bonded who didn’t have one. But he always promised it wouldn’t matter.

It was a lie.

“I’m so sorry, Zathrian. I found my mates.” He had said it with true feeling, but not enough to keep him there. I was expendable to him and he was ready to walk away without a look back. Our past meant nothing to him and even worse, neither did I.

“What does that mean for us?” His sadness was palpable but had nothing on the pain spearing through my soul.

“I’m leaving with them today. I’ve already packed. They won’t accept you as part of our pack, you're not a wolf and you aren’t my mate. I’m sorry…but this is goodbye.”

In that moment, I cried, begged, and yelled. I went through every stage of grief all in a five-minute span. He finished packing his stuff and refused to look at me. Then he was walking out of our apartment and throwing our lives together away. In fact, I never saw or heard from him again. That alone should have made me more sympathetic to what Nyla was facing, but I thought I’d healed enough to be there for her. Clearly I was wrong.

We knew everything about each other and yet, I was expendable to him. Thrown away the same moment he found his mates. They were strangers but he was okay with that. Willing to give it all up for them and not look back.

That same day, I vowed that if I ever found my mate, I would never commit. Sure, Ny and I were mates, but we’d never gone past our ‘no strings attached’ phase. This wasn’t your typical pairing.

When I met Nyla, we were both broken, not wanting to put all of our cards on the table, and it seemed like the perfect fit. We had our connection without the commitment, a glorified friends with benefits situation. It was perfect.

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