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Even my horse was frozen, unsure, and she was never quiet.
“Please,” Lance begged me. “It's not what you think and I've never had a chance to tell you that.” His voice was sad, broken, and vulnerable. All things that I never really associated with him.
In fact, as I looked at my former fiancé, the one who shattered my world and left me behind like trash, even I could tell that he was different now. I shouldn’t have been surprised; of course he’d changed, too. It had been a year.
“Oh, so you didn’t leave her at the altar? Break her heart?” Zath bit out and continued to pull me away.
Lance let go but followed now. I couldn’t stop staring at him, my brain fractured by the utter mindfuck this day had turned into.
Lance always had dirty-blond hair that he wore longer and combed back. Right now it was just pulled up into a bun with one piece hanging down the side of his head. For the wealthy son of a high-profile lawyer, it was downright unkempt. Especially with how big of a perfectionist he was.
He was skinnier now and lacked the definition of muscles he used to have. For a second, I wondered what had happened to create this strange version of his former self. Did he realize just how shitty what he did was? Was it drugs? Alcohol? Depression?
I wanted the answers, but I couldn’t make the words fall from my lips.
“Nyla, please, let me explain,” he started again when I offered nothing. I wanted so much to scream every bit of hate in my heart at him. Between the competition, more still to come today, finding my mates, and just…everything, I couldn’t do it.
“I’m sorry, Lance, I can’t do this right now,” I managed to choke out as Zath pulled me outside into the crowd.
Tears were already falling down my cheeks. I was someone who hated crying in public, yet here I was sobbing my heart out.
Hell, I was practically hyperventilating.
Letting go of Zathrian, I pushed myself into the crowd before ducking into the stairwell. I needed to be alone and the elevators would be packed.
As I reached the landing I had to stop and catch my breath. If I tried to climb the stairs in front of me I’d probably hurt myself, my vision too blurred from tears to have decent depth perception. Instead, I stopped and stood there, processing what just transpired.
My mate had left me, rejected me, and here he was to rub it in all over again. I’d known this could happen the moment we chose to accept the invitation. But having it play out was so much fucking harder.
The only thing I could do was collapse in the corner, tucking my knees into my chest and wrapping my arms around myself. My face rested on my raised knees in a protective circle. Letting myself have five minutes to feel would be the only way I could tuck it away and continue on.
How dare he come back!
The audacity and selfishness to come here and approach me, mid-competition, when he knew it would break me, was bullshit. He had to know how heartbroken he left me. Yet he had no regard for my feelings just now, only his.
Did he have no decency? No heart?
“Nyla, are you okay?” I looked up to see Riven looking down at me with concern. The last thing I wanted was his fucking pity.
“Of course, you're here to see this,” I said bitterly. “Please just go away, I don't need an audience.”
Riven didn't say anything else but he also didn't walk away. He stood by the door, hand on the knob, not leaving and not approaching until I was calmed down.
Honestly, it was nice to have somebody here. I felt a little less alone and it gave me a reason to get my shit together faster.
After a few long beats of companionable silence it felt like my erratic heart was no longer trying to escape my chest. My horse was letting out pathetic, little whines that would have broken me further if I allowed it to. Her pain was my pain.
For the first time since finding each other it was my turn to find my strength for the both of us. Enough was enough and I refused to let him take this from me, too.
I finally stood and so did she, her mood rising with my composure until she was letting out snorts of agreement. She likely wanted to show him that we were worthy, but I wanted to prove that he didn’t break us.
We were strong and stubborn and wouldn’t back down. We’d prove ourselves every fucking day of this competition. He no longer meant anything to me. I couldn’t let him if I ever wanted to truly move on.
Riven still stood by the door and I turned to him, not meeting his eyes. “Thank you,” I whispered before rushing up the stairs to our floor, refusing to look back.
I’d had my breakdown, now it was time to stand strong and get back down there.
We weren’t going to lose now.
