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I take a steadying breath, shaking my head gently. With my eyes closed, I tip my head back, feeling the wind on my face. News that the woman I believed to be my mother getting arrested should be good, I should be happy right now. Celebrating. But I’m not.
The only thing I feel is lost.
“I have to go,” I tell him, patting his shoulder before walking away. I love Bennett, but right now, everything is too raw. There is nothing I can offer him to make his own torment go away. For years I’ve given so much of myself to others, to make them happy; I can’t do that today.
Wrapping my arms around myself, I let myself feel everything.
Betrayal, hurt, sadness.
A life I never got to live.
Betty and Theodore wait for me in the dorm, their faces drawn in worry. Betty rushes me first, throwing her arms around me and whispering assurances in my ears. “It’s okay. It’ll be okay.”
I let her hold me for a long moment, soaking in her love before turning to face Theodore. He says nothing, just watches from where he sits on the couch. His eyes are dark, full of concern, but he makes no move to comfort me.
I motion my head to my bedroom, giving Betty a final squeeze before pushing away from her. She smiles sadly, tears in her eyes, but lets me go.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Casper,” Theodore murmurs, dropping down on my bed. “I had no idea. I just thought Caroline was a crazy bitch.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“What do you want to do?”
“Right now?” I ask, stepping between his spread legs and dropping my arms over his shoulders. “I want to take a nap. I want you to hold me and tell me you love me, and when I break, I want you to piece me back together. Because I don’t know what tomorrow brings, but I do know that I need you with me. Every step of the way.”
“I’ve got you. Always.” He says the words so seriously, his voice offering no room for confusion.
He does.
He always has.
Even when things fell apart between us and I thought he hated me, somehow, he was always there for the bad times.
Holding me together.
Two months later . . .
Leaning against the door with my arms folded across my chest, my eyes move over the church. Bodies writhe around the dance floor, students losing their inhibitions under the haze of drugs and alcohol while loud drums and bass vibrate the walls.
Gage stands beside me, a joint hanging from his mouth while he focuses on the redhead grinding against a blond pretty boy. By the end of the night, fists will be flying and for once, I’m just glad they will not be mine.
My eyes lock on Fallon. Wearing a tiny little red dress, her curves are on full display, and every fucker in the vicinity has prime viewing of my girl’s arse and tits . . . but she only has eyes for me.
She wriggles her hips, tempting me in the most delicious way. I’d be a fucking fool if I didn’t take her up on it.
Her head falls back on a laugh when I shove off the wall and stalk towards her. For the last few weeks, it’s been nearly impossible to get even a smile from those gorgeous lips, but I think she’s finally reaching the light at the end of that shitty dark tunnel.
There are still questions she doesn’t have answers to.
Questions that only her dad, Bennett, and Caroline could answer.
But she isn’t ready yet.
Who knows when she will be.
I grab her hips, pulling her back flush to my chest. My hands run over her thighs, stroking at the soft skin. The move is so reminiscent of that night, months ago, when I first saw her here.
The night I couldn’t stay away.
