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I don't know what to think of his strange attitude. He allowed me to leave with Luke and even destroyed Damian's shotgun to defend him. Is Lawrence losing his cruelty or is this another mind game to bend me to his will?
"Your brothers are creepy," Luke finally says as we hit the main road to the cinema. "Are they always protective of you?"
I nod. "They've always been like that, but it got worse after my mom died."
"Oh." Luke doesn't look at me. "I'm sorry to hear about that."
"It's okay. I try not to think about her death."
It happened five years ago. I was sobbing in my room because Lawrence wouldn’t let me out of the house again.
At about eight in the evening, the piercing howl of my father filled the whole mansion, rattling the windows, enveloping the pack area in one mournful tone and causing the other wolves to respond in a loud chorus of howls. I instantly knew something was wrong.
I raced out of my room, screeched to a stop at the foot of the grand stairway as though I’d slammed my face into an invisible wall. The bloody body of my mother in the arms of my weeping father.
To this day, I have no idea who or what killed her. My father, Jordan, the Alpha of High Ridge Pack, refuses to share the details of her death with me. Not a single detail.
"It's sad, Addy," he'll always say. "I don't want to talk about it."
He didn't even tell his sons. I'm not sure about Lawrence though, because I caught him one night with one of his friends talking about the High Wolf and how he had attacked my father.
"Who’s the High Wolf?" I’d asked before Lawrence slammed the door in my face.
It's been five years and I'm still mourning the death of a woman who deeply loved me. She was the only one who could reign Lawrence and Damian in. What’s more, when Mom was alive, I was a free bird, spreading my wings with no fear of falling. After her death, I found myself in the cage my brothers had put me in. No mother. No one to love me like she did.
No one to love back.
"It hurts when you lose the people you love," Luke says in a low voice.
His eyes are fixed on the road. Since I told him about my mother, he's barely looked at me. Does he feel sorry for me? If he is, I don't want his pity. I'm fine.
"It really hurts but we have to get over it," I tell him. "I'm trying to move on—it’s what she’d want."
"It's not that easy!" Luke snaps.
His hands tighten around the steering wheel, his knuckles turning red. His chin trembles, followed by the grumble that reverberates through his chest.
"What's wrong?" I ask, not understanding what’s just happened.
"Nothing."
I keep quiet and turn my face away, looking out the window. The crisp night air caresses my face, battling the sensation of unhappiness that fills me. Except it does nothing to take the feeling away.
Luke is right next to me but I sense his mind is a million miles away, embracing the misery he doesn't want to talk about.
I was looking forward to tonight. My stomach tingled every time I thought about it, the sensation spreading lower and lower. I remembered the attraction. The chemistry. The way he makes me feel. But now, it’s clear I don't know how to get him talking. His firm response bears a deeper message—back off.
A stray tear spills down my cheek. I sweep it away with my thumb before it can drip into the fabric of my satin blouse.
I'll take my time. Luke will eventually open up, I'm sure of it. Not even the strongest person in the world can hold their pain without falling under the weight of its chaotic emotions.
* * *
Of all the movies to see, it had to beTitanic.
It is one of the world's most tear-jerking love stories ever captured. The whole thing is tragic. If only Rose knew she would live to spend the rest of her life without Jack, she wouldn't have given the good-looking man a chance to steal her heart.
It’s awkward as I sit in the movie theater, watching Jack and Rose's on-screen affair while my off-screen affair is nothing but a shot in the dark.
