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With each day, the empty hole inside me grows bigger and deeper, and soon enough, it’ll swallow me whole.
“Maybe they just need time,” Jane tells me while we’re having lunch with Chris in the IT department.
“I don’t think time will fix it.” I glide my fry in the ketchup but don’t eat it. I’ve lost my appetite lately. “He asked me to file a restraining order against Nate. He won’t stop.”
Chris steals a fry and throws it in his mouth. “That shouldn’t be a surprise, though.”
“Don’t you dare say I told you so.” I give him the stink eye.
“I’m just saying, Gwen. Fathers don’t like anyone fucking around with their daughters, especially overprotective ones like yours.”
Jane gulps at that and clears her throat. “I still think it’ll be fixed with time. They’re best friends, right? That should mean something.”
“If by something, you mean that he keeps threatening to kill Nate, then sure, it means something. You know, I always heard stories about my dad and his coldness, but this is the first time I’ve witnessed it firsthand and it’s terrifying. I want my dad back.”
Chris steals another fry. “You know the only way to do that is to separate from Nate, right?”
Moisture gathers in my eyes as I nod. Because Dad is making me choose anyway. No matter how much I’ve begged him and told him my feelings for Nate, he doesn’t believe them.
The thought of separating from Nate leaves me breathless, with insomnia, and so hollow that I hear its cracking sound sometimes.
I leave all the fries for Chris and jerk up. “I’m going to get some air.”
“I’ll come with you.” Jane stands and interlaces her arm with mine.
Chris, however, takes all the fries and tells us to go without him.
“You’re strong, Gwen. Really.” Jane rubs my arm when we’re in the elevator, heading to the parking garage. “I wish I had your strength and wasn’t so much of a coward.”
“You’re not a coward, Jane. You just hate people, which is okay. You’re okay.”
Her gaze gets lost in the distance, staring at nowhere and nothing. “I don’t hate people. I just don’t know how to deal with them, so I choose to stay away because…I’m good at that. Running. Staying away. It’s how I survive. Truth is…”
The elevator dings as the doors open on the second floor, and I feel Jane stiffening even before I lift my head to see Knox standing there. A hand rests in his pocket and a blank expression covers his features.
“Come out,” he orders, his accent even more prominent.
I think he’s talking to me, but it’s Jane who jolts, and her nails dig into my arm. It’s the second time she’s done this in his presence. Or is it the third? I think I saw him that night at the club when Jane disappeared on us.
“I said, come out, Jane.”
She slowly releases me and steps out of the elevator. She faces me and murmurs, “Talk to you later.”
“Uh, okay.” I catch Knox’s lips twisting in a cruel smirk as the elevator doors close.
That was weird.
I’m still thinking about that scene when I get off in the parking garage. A hand wraps around my mouth and I shriek into it, but the sound is muffled, then it dies out when I recognize his warmth. The warmth mixed with spices and woods and belonging.
Nate drags me to a supply room and slams me against the shut door.
We’re both breathing harshly, and our chests are glued together so that we feel each other’s heartbeats. The bruises Dad gave him have faded to yellow and the cuts are slowly healing, but he’s still the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. The only man my heart would skip a beat and try to escape its ribcage for.
I run my fingertips over the line of his jaw and the cut on his lip. He closes his eyes, those beautiful,beautifuldark eyes that I don’t wake up to anymore. And probably never will again.
“Are you okay?” I sound emotional, heartbroken, and Nate must sense it, because he opens his eyes.
“Aside from missing the fuck out of you, I’m fine.”
