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Nate went out to lunch and called it a day.
With Aspen.
He’s been with Aspen all this time.
The shards that splintered in my chest earlier are digging their way into my heart and I can’t fucking breathe.
But I have to. I need to breathe.
So I go outside to do just that.
15
Gwyneth
“Are you listening, Gwen?”
I slide my attention from my assaulted vanilla milkshake that I’ve been jamming the straw in and out of to Chris, who’s staring at me with a furrowed brow.
He came to pick me up earlier and we’ve been sitting in a coffee shop and talking. Well, he’s ended up doing all the talking while I’ve been thinking about other things.
Like what was Nate doing with Aspen the entire afternoon?
For hours.
Alone.
She didn’t even leave in her car.
Logically, I shouldn’t be this affected, because I have no hold on him, right? Except maybe I do. After all, there’s a marriage certificate that says he’s married to me, and it should go without saying that he doesn’t leave with a woman who isn’t me.
It’s only on paper. The marriage isn’t real.
“Are you still upset about your dad?” Chris tries again.
He’s such a gentleman. Like the best ever, and he’s hot, too, with his leather jacket, medium-length hair, and his pouty lips that are good at kissing.
But I don’t think kissing should feel good. There needs to be a shattering quality to it. Maybe something like the feeling that’s now taking asylum in my chest.
It’s supposed to hurt. To tear someone from the inside out and make them bleed out.
But is being hurt and shredded to pieces the correct thing to do?
Maybe Nate’s right. Maybe safe is what I should choose. Because who wants to be ripped apart with no hopes of ever pulling themselves together again?
Me, apparently, because the longer I stare at Chris, the surer I am that he isn’t who will give me what I wish for.
“It’s not about Dad.” I stare at my milkshake, following the swirl of my straw before looking up at him. “I’m sorry, Chris.”
“For what?”
“For leading you on. I promise I didn’t mean to, but…”
“You’re just not that into me, huh?”
I wince.
“It’s okay, though my pride is a bit wounded. Now, I think Jen is right and you used me for the Harley.”
