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Knox is here. In front of my shabby apartment, and he wants me to let him in.
I have to take a moment to breathe.
To not let all the gloomy feelings from earlier manifest in front of him.
When I feel marginally better, I open the door.
No amount of moments or deep breaths could’ve prepared me for how sinfully attractive he looks.
For the way his hair is styled and how his clothes are impeccably in place, even after a whole day at work.
It’s unfair.
So, so unfair that he’s physical perfection no one else can match.
It’s also unfair that he was my first, and now, I can’t see any other man but him. The bar is just too high for anyone else to reach, not that I would allow them.
He ruined me.
Corrupted me.
And I keep wanting more.
“How did you find out where I live?” I whisper.
“Your résumé.”
“Why are you here—”
My words end with a moan because he’s grabbing me by the throat and slamming his lips against mine.
18
KNOX
There are times when I can control the shadows and times when they control me.
This is the second instance.
I haven’t been able to get rid of them since this morning. They’ve been looming and spreading over me until their gray clouds are the only thing I breathe, see, or touch.
That’s how I found myself at Anastasia’s flat.
I resisted not seeing her, especially when I’m in this state. I don’t let anyone see me with my shadows, not even my twin sister.
But I desperately needed the distraction. I needed to feel the heat of her body and hear the tiny gasps she makes when I take her by surprise.
Like now.
She lets out small noises in my mouth as her fingers latch to my side. I kick the door to her flat shut and back her up with my hold on her neck. Her pulse throbs beneath my fingers as if she’s caught by the same adrenaline wave that’s holding me hostage, and I grab her throat tighter until I’m her only anchor.
And she’s mine.
Because even now, I’m still surrounded by those shadows, and they’re vicious and harsh, needing a pound of flesh.
Hers.
She makes them feel bare, and they don’t like that. They don’t like being exposed or weakened or even seen.
