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She folds more into herself, using her hold on her knees as armor against the world.
The people.
The injustice.
I’m too close to driving my fist into the steering wheel and inevitably getting us both killed.
If I’d listened to her back then, if I hadn’t been so shoved up my own arse and so attuned to my naïve heartbreak, I would’ve seen it.
I would’ve seen her brokenness and silent plea for help.
But I didn’t.
And I spent the following weeks actively pretending she was a pest.
She didn’t look at me either. Not even her usual glares or haughty remarks.
The day Victoria Clifford’s mask fell off and the police arrested her, Nicole broke down and maybe that wasn’t only for finding out her only parent is a monster. Maybe she let the world see her rare tears because of the pain that was festering inside her for weeks.
After the police escorted her mother out of the room, I wrapped my arm around Nicole’s shoulder and led her to the hallway. Even though the wound I thought she caused was fresh, bleeding, and refused to get better, I still felt a twinge in my gut at witnessing her state.
I still wanted to get her away from a furious Uncle Henry and a heartbroken Astrid. Despite my loyalty to my best friend, a part of me wanted to protect Nicole from her wrath if she or her father decided to blame Nicole for her mother’s actions.
And for a few minutes, Nicole allowed me to hold her, to silently console her while she sniffled and trembled like a leaf in a violent storm.
But then I broke the spell and asked like a first-class idiot, “Do you need anything?”
What could a girl who just realized her mother was a murderer need, Dan?Maybe you’re the one who needs a more functioning brain.
Obviously, I was on a kick of being daft back then because when her lips trembled, I lowered my head and brushed my lips against hers.
In my simpleton mind, I only wanted her to get better, to forget even for some time, but I ended up ripping my heart’s stitches open and kissing her with the desperation of a madman. I swear she kissed me back for a brief moment. For a second in time, we were so in tune that I had no clue where she ended and I began.
But then, she swiftly pulled from my hold, and stared ahead. “I need you away from me, Daniel.”
And then, she marched out.
A few days later, she packed her suitcases and left.
She hadn’t even looked at me. Not once. And I’d thought she was done with me.
I’d thought I was done with her, too.
All these years later and I’m learning the hard fucking way that I was never done with her.
Not when I never really got started with her.
“How did that fucker…” I trail off at my strained tone and start again with a cooler one. “How did he become Jayden’s father?”
A chin tremble. A jerk. Silence.
“Is he…actually your son?”
“No! Do you think I would’ve let that monster have more hold on me?”
“I’m just asking.”
“Well, don’t.”
