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That’s when I see what we are. I’ve always been the upper half of an hourglass while he was the bottom. Sooner or later, he was meant to empty me until nothing was left.
My shoulders droop and a lone tear escapes my lids. “I’m done with you. I’m done with your cowardice, with my unrequited feelings. I’m done, Daniel. So please, let me go. Please let me be free. Let me breathe air where you don’t exist.”
He gives a curt nod, then turns around and leaves.
The world splinters to pieces around me as I fall to the floor and cry the hardest I ever did.
I don’t grieve us, not when we didn’t even exist.
I finally grieve myself.
* * *
I don’t knowhow long I remain on the floor then somehow end up on the bed, a mess of unstoppable tears, twisted fantasies, and impossible feelings. I might have fallen asleep at some point, I’m not sure.
But it’s long enough that a lone ray of sun slips through the curtains and a new day sneaks its way through the harsh, merciless night.
It doesn’t matter what happened during that night—whether it’s the shattering of hope or the scary reminder that I wasted my youth loving someone who would never love me.
Who would look anywhere but at me.
The need to pull myself off the floor and get out of his house prickles on my skin like a spring allergy but the will to actually do that is nonexistent.
Then I recall something, or more specifically someone.
Jay.
I spring up to a standing position and hobble to the bathroom so I can wash my face. I refuse to look at my reflection in the mirror. It’s no different than facing that ghostly part of me.
I retrieve my phone from the nightstand, contemplating if calling Uncle Henry this early is a good or a stupid idea after we exchanged numbers and I left my brother with him and Astrid.
The text that I find on the screen breathes some life into me.
Uncle Henry:Jayden is fast asleep after playing with Landon and Brandon all day. Astrid insisted on him staying the night. I’ll bring him over as soon as he wakes up.
At least one of us is accepted by Astrid.
Not that it matters now.
I need to pack my things and leave with Jay as soon as he’s back.
If I have to beg Aspen to take me in as a second assistant, so be it. Although I’d still work in the same building as Daniel, it’ll get easier with time.
Or so I like to fool my future self into believing.
It didn’t get easier the past eleven years, but I at least managed to numb the pain and focus on raising Jay. But now that I’ve gotten a glimpse of the other side of Daniel—the cold yet caring side—I don’t think it’ll be as easy to numb anything.
When I finish packing my and Jay’s bag, I resist the urge to cry. And it isn’t until I’ve gotten downstairs that I realize I might run into Daniel and cry for real.
Pathetic.
“Morning, Ms. Adler,” a gentle feminine voice calls. It’s Sophie, the maid. Upon seeing my face, a delicate frown appears between her brows. “Are you unwell?”
If having my heart broken repeatedly is unwell, then yeah, I must be suffering from the worst type of unwellness.
“I’m good, thank you.”
“Do you need anything? Perhaps some tea with your breakfast?”
