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“Tell me,” I insist. “And don’t even think about channeling the cold jerk lurking inside you because I know everything you said last night was to push me away.”
I wasn’t entirely sure earlier, but I’m certain now. If he really didn’t care about me, he wouldn’t have left me his money and took vengeance for me.
He’s not that selfless.
“You said it yourself,” he speaks with a calm that contradicts his disheveled demeanor.
“I said what myself?”
“That I ruined you, Nicole! If I wasn’t a fucking idiot and noticed the signs, if I didn’t choose to see you as the image you projected, I wouldn’t have pushed you into that cunt’s arms. You wouldn’t have lost a part of you that you’ll never get back. And I get that now, I get that no matter what I do, you’ll never forgive me for what happened to you. Which is why I chose to hurt you and myself and fucking leave.”
“You didn’t push me into Christopher’s arms, my unhealthy obsession did. And you know what, I used to blame you sometimes, but I had no right. I also have no right to blame myself. It’s not my or your fault, Daniel. It’s Christopher’s. Okay? And I didn’t mean you ruined me in that sense, I meant emotionally, you arsehole. You keep playing hide-and-seek with me, the moment I think you’re mine, you slip from between my fingers like sand. I’m tired of hoping, pining, and being so irrevocably in love with a man who never looked at me.”
“I did,” he whispers. “When you thought I wasn’t looking. You were the only person I had trouble looking away from.”
“You were glaring at me.”
“Because I loathed how much you affected me even though you were hateful, not only to me but to everyone else.”
I snort out laughter mixed with tears. “Looks like we both misunderstood everything.”
“And we paid for it dearly.” He sighs deeply, painfully. “The years you were out of my life were so empty and desolate, I tried to fill them up with anything available. I didn’t realize I failed until the moment you walked into my office.”
“I was empty, too. And that box is what kept me feeling full enough to survive.” I smile a little. “I want it back, by the way.”
“Including the peach seed?”
“That, too.”
“It can kill you.”
“I always wanted what I shouldn’t have.”
He wraps an arm around my waist, pulling close so his lips are mere inches from mine. “Does that include me?”
“You’re the first on the list.”
A beautiful grin appears on his face. “What if you hate me down the line?”
“Then I will just fall in love with you all over again. I’m persistent like that.”
“You’re fucking weird, did you know that?”
“You told me so when we were eight.”
“I did. But here’s something I didn’t tell you. Since that day, I don’t eat peaches.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t like things that can harm you.”
“Is that why you assaulted Chris?”
“It’s eleven years overdue, but I finally got the righteous type of revenge.”
“You got stabbed for it.”
“It’s worth it,” he speaks against my lips. “You’re worth it, Peaches.”
