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But not on his smell alone.
It’s on his presence.
His nearness.
I quit my addiction to him a long time ago—I’m eleven years sober—so how come one hit is enough to make me backpedal into bad habits?
When he speaks, his voice is too close to my ear, I shiver. “Even my best friend isn’t privy to that detail about me. In fact, no one is. So how are you?”
“I don’t remember.”
“Is that so?”
“Yeah, I kind of forget easily. Can I go now?”
I make a move to turn, but he grabs my elbow and I nearly shriek when he pulls me back against him. “No, you can’t.”
7
NICOLE
It’s been years since I was in this position.
No, over a decade.
It’s crazy how much the passage of time can change someone’s perspective about everything.
Eleven years ago, I would’ve melted if Daniel had so much as looked at me. If he’d touched me, I would’ve flown to euphoria land in no time.
Because of him, I was mentally and physically sick numerous times. Because of him, I hid in toilets and cried where no one could see the proud Nicole being weak.
And because of him, my life took a sharp dive for the worst.
But that’s been long over.
That’s in the past.
It’s strange how years and events can change a person. How our perspectives can flip one hundred eighty degrees as if it exists in a parallel universe.
I wish that were the case. I wish I’d first met him now and he was just my boss. Maybe then, he wouldn’t be such a jerk.
Maybe then, I wouldn’t be thinking about the way his fingers are wrapped around my elbow or how they burn through my shirt and reach the skin.
He’s always grabbed me by the elbow, almost as if he doesn’t want to touch any other part of me.
But that doesn’t lessen the impact of the gesture or how that small nook of my body is nearing the point of self-destruction.
I dare to slowly lift my gaze and search his in an attempt to wrap my chaotic mind around this.
But the moment my eyes clash with his, I wish I hadn’t looked at him.
I even wish I’d never met him again. I wish our ill-fated connection had died the day he metaphorically killed me eleven years ago.
Because the way he’s watching me?
It’s nothing short of domineering. His square jaw is set and his nostrils are flaring and those eyes that I once found solace in? They’re now judging me, worse than a criminal who’s being prosecuted in court.
Just like everyone else did back then.
