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“If what?” he asks.
“I-if you get my toys.”
He releases a breath that sounds a bit exasperated, then keeps a hand on my head to stop me from moving as he rummages behind him in the drawer.
Soon after, he produces my doll and snow globe and puts them on my stomach. “Happy now?”
“Y-you can have it…”
“Thanks, but I don’t play with dolls.”
“N-no, you can have t-the snow globe.”
Maybe if I share my favorite toys with him, he’ll like me.
Maybe he’ll also see the beautiful girl trapped in the snow and think about how he can get her out without breaking her world apart.
“It’s nothing serious,” I blurt when he remains silent, examining the snow globe between his fingers. “It’s…it’s…because y-you’re letting me use your lap.”
He stares at the side. “Whatever.”
My heart falls and something stings in my eyes.
Ah.
Even sharing one of the last things I have of Papa didn’t work.
He might have talked to me and held me, but I’m still invisible to Daniel.
“It’s still girly,” he says.
“It’s…it’s a beautiful bride.”
“You like that? Brides?”
“I-I do…” I lick my swollen lips and try not to think of the bitterness that’s stuck at the back of my throat or how it hurts to breathe. “When we grow up, will you marry me?”
His eyes widen, but he looks away.
My heart shrivels and breaks in my chest.
Once again, it was all for nothing.
“Nicole?”
My lids slowly close and a tear slides down my cheek.
Is it the pain of the peaches or the pain of being invisible?
Maybe it’s the pain of having an unhealthy obsession.
“Nicole, open your eyes!”
For what?
My head lolls to the side and bumps against his knee. He smells like peaches.
Or maybe I do.
