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Daniel: Shagging the whole of NYC as we speak.
In my head. And not the whole of the city, just a fucking annoying someone in the middle of it.
Astrid: Have I told you that you’re a pig lately?
Daniel: In as many colorful words as your palettes. I’m kind of desensitized to it after fourteen years of hearing it, little bugger.
Astrid: Wow. I can’t believe we’ve known each other that long. Maybe we should start celebrating milestones.
Daniel: You sure you want to add more dates to the number of birthdays you have to keep up with, considering all the spawns you keep giving birth to?
Astrid: There’s a thing called a calendar. And did you just call my children spawns?
Daniel: All children are.
All except for Jayden because he acts like a thirty-year-old. I contemplate telling Astrid that Nicole has a brother, but that will bring on a whole other line of questions that I’m not ready to answer.
Naturally, I’ll tell Astrid about Nicole.
Eventually.
After she’s no longer working with me and belongs in the past tense.
Or maybe I can get away with not mentioning her to Astrid at all. There’s no love lost between the two women and…fuck, I don’t want to see the disappointment on my best friend’s face if she finds out I’m lusting after her evil stepsister.
It was that way in the past, too. I hated wanting Nicole despite knowing my best friend’s feelings toward her.
Astrid: I’m going to throw this back in your face when you have your own kids, Bug.
Daniel: Not foreseeable for the next five to six decades.
Astrid:You’d probably be dead around that time.
Daniel:Exactly.
Astrid:You really don’t plan to get married and have kids? Ever?
Daniel:Marriages are overrated. They’re just a glorified contract for a socially acceptable whoring agreement. They’re messy, full of betrayals, and usually end with sloppy divorces and a hefty check for the solicitor.
Astrid:Just because your parents’ marriage was messy doesn’t mean all marriages are. Look at mine.
Daniel:Three kids and thinking about a fourth? How is changing nappies going for you, Bugger?
Astrid:I can’t believe you’ve become so cynical, Bug.
Always was. Just tried to hide it with a charming façade in the past.
Daniel:I’m a realist.
Astrid:How about kids then?
Daniel:Wrong number. Not interested.
Astrid:Damn you lol. I mean, who will inherit your fortune? Who are you making all that money for?
Daniel:A million and one cat organizations. I would’ve given them to your children, but they have the King surname and have been richer than me since they were fucking toddlers, so I’m going for the next best thing.
Astrid:I can’t believe you’re choosing cats over actually fathering children.
