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My younger version was naïve.
His was soulless because he never forgave himself.
He slowly starts to release her, then shoves her against the nearest wall.
She straightens with a crackle that fills the whole office. “You’re done for, Kingsley. I’m going to sue you for assault.”
I stand in front of him, partly shielding his view from her. His nostrils are flaring and the last thing I want is for him to actually kill her this time.
“He’s going to sue you for every dime to your name,” I say with a calm I don’t feel. “You just admitted to breaching the prenup you signed with Benjamin Shaw that states you’re to lose everything you owned after marriage if you harm the Shaw family or its members physically, emotionally, or mentally. Separating Gwyneth from me is the personification of emotional and mental harm. By doing this, you relinquished any rights to the community property, so you no longer have any claim to any of your late husband’s money. Prepare to live in the streets for the rest of your miserable life.”
Her laughter disappears and she pales, realizing that she’s dug her own grave. She could’ve kept that information to herself, but her need for grandiose narcissism pushed her over the edge.
“You also breached the restraining order. Being allowed in the building doesn’t give you the right to approach Kingsley. Now, get out and be afraid, Susan. Be very afraid, because I will make you pay for the helplessness and loss I felt in that hospital.Wewill make you pay for all the damage you’ve done to the three of us until you wish you never existed.”
She stumbles, her beady eyes watching Kingsley’s raging ones as she steps out the door.
As soon as she’s gone, I turn around and look at him. His shoulders are tense, his face so tight, I’m scared he’ll have a stroke.
I palm his cheek, caressing it slowly, as if he’s an injured animal. “It’s okay. She’s not important.”
“She knew.” His tone is clipped. “She fucking knew about you and kept it from me.”
“We still found each other anyway.”
“After twenty-one years, during which Gwen suffered being motherless.”
“I know, but that’s okay, I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere.”
His head drops onto my shoulder and I breathe heavily, sliding my fingers through his hair, listening to his harsh breaths.
I can tell he’s holding it in, and that under different circumstances, Susan’s body would be on the floor of his office.
We remain like that for a long time, until his breathing is a bit more controlled, and he pulls back. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For not looking hard enough.”
“Me, too.” I sniffle, fighting the tears that have gathered in my eyes. “Now, we just need to prove she breached that prenup.”
“I recorded her just now.”
I step back to stare at him. “You did?”
“I always record her in case I can use her words against her.”
I release a breath, refusing to think about what that woman has cost us. Years of separation. Decades of missing my daughter. Time when I could’ve been with both Gwen and Kingsley. I should’ve been with my baby all along, and there’s no justifying the time that I’ve missed with her.
But maybe neither Kingsley nor I were ready for one another then. Maybe we needed the time to reach this version of ourselves. A version that’s a little bit broken, a little bit dark, but still fits the other anyway.
A version in which we’re each other’s worlds. Or at least, he’s mine. I’m not sure where I fit in his equation.
I know he cares about me, I do, but Kingsley is a closed-off man in the feelings department. And the thought of being emotionally vulnerable in front of him just to be rejected scares the shit out of me.
“Let’s have lunch together,” he says.
“Gwen beat you to it.”
