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"Julia," Chelsea said softly, and Julia was surprised when her friend reached out and gripped hold of her hand, "I have seen the way that the Earl of Sutthers looked at you, and I do not believe his opinion of you would be in any way changed by his knowledge of your status and wealth."
Julia longed so desperately to believe her friend, but after all that had happened last Season, she was entirely certain that she could not take that risk. At least, she did not feel ready to take that risk just yet.
"This conversation is pointless," Julia said with a deep huff, pulling her hand from Chelsea's because she felt uncomfortable with the idea that her friend thought she had any effect on what had happened. "I cannot turn back time and attempt to tell the brothers who I am just to see if it changes anything."
"Would you if you could?" Chelsea asked. Julia lifted her gaze to her friend's, thinking what a peculiar question that was. Yet the moment she did, she realised her answer.
Shaking her head, she responded, "I would not. In truth, I believe I like Lord Sutthers entirely too much to be concerned about my status and wealth, influencing the way he may feel about me."
At those words, Chelsea's face broke into such a brilliant smile that it almost hurt Julia's eyes. Unwilling to show her discomfort, she forced herself to continue to meet her friend's gaze.
"Oh, Julia, I am thrilled to hear you say that!" Chelsea insisted, gripping hold of both of Julia's hands this time. "Though I am unhappy about the entire situation, I am well aware how much you must truly like him if you are unwilling to tell him who you truly are."
Julia raised an eyebrow in surprise, but Chelsea's words became clear in her mind. She remembered all too well the status and wealth she had begun to use as a shield against many a young man who had come sniffing around her, especially those she had no interest in.
It had been all too easy to convince her father of the few who were only interested in their wealth when any hint at a marriage had been proposed. She was well aware it would take a special man for her father to give up such a large dowry, especially after all that had happened last Season.What if he would not give it to Lord Sutthers?She forced the thought away because she could not allow herself to think in such a way.
She could not allow herself to even begin to believe that the earl would even consider her a potential bride. It was all too close to the fantasy she had always believed in when she was a child, a knight in shining armour coming to her rescue only to turn out to be a prince who wished to sweep her off her feet so that they might live happily ever after. No, last year she had told herself it was time to grow up,and she was sticking to that.
“Don’t you see, Julia? We cannot give up on this,” Chelsea persisted, gripping Julia’s hands just a little tighter. “You have always been so invested in finding true love. What if this is it?”
Though Julia could sense her friend’s enthusiasm and she wanted so desperately to feel it herself, she couldn’t quite bring herself to hope, too terrified that she might lose herself in the fantasy of it all over again just to have it stolen away from her at the very last moment.
“It does not matter if we can never find them again,” she said to Chelsea, squeezing her hands back in return and wishing that she could tell her friend to stop trying to make her hopeful. She had been trying too hard recently to be practical and sensible and not allow herself to get caught up in such innocent and naïve things as true love. And yet, when even Chelsea was beginning to believe in such things, it was almost impossible to do so.
“If we give up then we will never find them,” Chelsea pointed out. “I know that the old Earl of Sutthers was rumoured to have a house close by here, but without solid proof we cannot very well go knocking door to door. How peculiar would that appear?”
The two girls chuckled together for a moment, though Julia felt a hole opening up in her stomach at the thought of it. She wished so desperately to see the current Earl of Sutthers again, and yet she could not bring herself to voice the fact that she would happily knock on every door just to see his face again.
“No,” Chelsea continued, shaking her head. “We shall just have to continue to try to find out what we can about the two of them.”
“I do believe we are at risk of attaching ourselves to a scandal if we continue the way we have been going,” Julia warned, her stomach churning at the thought of being the gossip of London, chasing after two men who were known for being rakes as well as their being ostracised from society due to their mother’s status.
“There are always rumours flying about, Julia,” Chelsea grumbled with a roll of her eyes. “One day sooner or later, I imagine both of us will be gossiped about in some form or other. Let it at least be said that we did everything we could to find our own happiness.”
With a deep sigh, Julia finally conceded to her friend's wishes. She had to admit that Chelsea was likely right. After all, she had already been on everybody’s lips after the debacle last Season. Maybe being associated with a rake or two might put off those who wished to marry her only for her money, though she highly doubted it. With a nod, she smiled, “I think you may be right.”
Chelsea’s smile broadened again, and she squeezed Julia’s hands with delight as she said, “Now we have only one thing left to decide on. How do we come across the Tatfords again?”
Chapter 8
It had been a little over a week since the musicale at Miss Chelsea’s house and though Gabriel had failed to see either of them since then, he still could not remove thoughts of Miss Julia from his mind.
He dreamt of her almost nightly, both sweet dreams and dreams that were far racier than he had ever experienced before, dreams that left him frustrated and grumpy from the moment that he awakened to the moment he went to bed at night.
Yet he fought the urge to seek the young woman out, or at least he tried, until his brother came to him one morning and said, “Brother, I find I am unable to be patient any longer. I have taken your advice and chosen not to look desperate, but I am at my wit’s end. I should like to pay Miss Chelsea a visit and I would be very appreciative if you would attend with me.”
And so, after a little persuasion, Gabriel found himself stepping out of his carriage onto the kerb outside Miss Chelsea’s residence with his brother in tow. Though they had arrived unannounced, Gabriel thought that after the way her mother had greeted them the last time, they were in no trouble of being turned away, which was more than could be said for some residences on the square.
“Are you ready?” he asked his brother even as his manservant hurried up the porch steps to knock and request their audience with Miss Chelsea. Jonathan looked more nervous than Gabriel had ever seen him, adjusting and readjusting his jacket and his hair beneath his hat as though he wasn’t sure he could pass muster.
“As ready as I will ever be,” Jonathan admitted, and Gabriel struggled to stop himself from chuckling aloud. He couldn’t remember the last time he had seen his brother making such an effort for a woman.He must truly like her,he thought, feeling a little anticipation of his own as he wondered whether Miss Chelsea’s friend might also be in attendance.
When his manservant returned with the news that the butler was awaiting to take them through to the drawing room, Gabriel’s stomach started to churn. He almost didn’t want to walk into that residence for the simple fear that she might be in there.What will I say to her? What excuse can I have for being pleased to see her?Deep down, he was even more scared of how he might feel if she were not in attendance. He wasn’t entirely sure which one would be worse.
“Shall we?” Jonathan suggested, gesturing for Gabriel to take the lead. He nodded and did so, the butler greeting them as politely as he would any other nobleman, though Gabriel couldn’t help but notice there was a look in the man’s eyes, one that he had come to learn well in his time in England, a look that suggested even the servants knew of who they were dealing with.
His stomach clenched, and he wondered whether attending without invitation was truly a mistake on their part. Yet it was too late to turn back now as both he and his brother gave their hats and coats to the butler and the man then showed them through the house to the drawing room. The house was not nearly so extravagantly decorated as it had been the night of the musicale, but there was a certain tastefulness to the place and Gabriel admired it still.
