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“Very funny!” Thank goodness, he thinks I’m joking.
“How was last night?”Magical, sexy, completely insane…
“Uneventful.”
“That’s good! I know how much you were dreading it, so I guess uneventful is good.”
You have no idea.
“Coffee in 20?”
“Yes. Can I meet you downstairs?”
“Perfect. See you then.”
We hang up and I’m hoping my resolve to put Cole out of my mind lasts, but in the deepest part of me I know that’s impossible, because he’s already in my thoughts. I’ve met attractive men and had chemistry before, but with Cole it’s different. There is something intimate and familiar between us, like he sees right through me. It’s unnerving, and insanely hot.
The morning goes by quickly as Jack and I look at some of the apartments Alex and I set aside to check out. I figure I can do the preliminary filtering and bring her back to see anything great. I’ve been having a good time with Jack, with the exception of an awkward exchange in the third apartment we stop to see. The agent asks if we have any kids, and I gush out a hearty “NO!”. Then, just adding insult to injury, I subconsciously follow with, “We’re mostly friends, nothing serious. We haven’t even slept together.”WHAT? Really, Mia?
Jack’s face is definitely saying, “WTF?”
Admittedly, the entire time I hear myself talking, I’m saying internally,“STOP TALKING NOW!” But the damage is done. He stays quiet while we look around and as we leave, I ask if he wants to grab some lunch, and he answers, “Sure, friend.”
The quiet is awful. Neither of us speaking, we eat in awkward silence. I need to say something, anything.
“The last place was nice, dontcha think? Maybe I should take Alex back there? The agent said they have an immediate move in available.”
“Sure.”
“I mean, it was the smallest of the places, but it had a nice homey feel…”
“Yeah, sure.” Oh, so he’s gonna make this easy… A part of me is irritated that he has decided to behave like a child. I made it clear from the beginning I didn’t want anything serious. He has no cause to act so scorned. That irritated part of me decided to speak…
“I’m sorry, Jack. I didn’t mean to upset you or hurt your feelings. I’m not sure why you’re so upset, though. We ARE friends. We haven’t decided what this is and we certainly are not entertaining the idea of children.”
“Yes, Mia, I realize we aren’t, because as you so diligently told a complete stranger, we aren’t even sleeping together.”
I’m a bit put off by the anger in his voice. He’s really pissed off. I feel bad, because I didn’t want to hurt him, but that’s why it’s best to be honest. I don’t want to lead him on and play games. Jack doesn’t deserve that. He has been a constant support since the break-in. I handled this poorly, blurting out such a personal detail in the wrong time and place. My nerves got the best of me today. “Jack, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make that public. I wasn’t thinking.”
“I’m not hurt, Mia. I don’t care who you tell. Just make sure you get the facts right.”
“What facts are those, exactly?”
“ I’m only in the friend zone becauseyou are a cock tease.”I hope I’m not hearing this right!
“Fuck you, Jack. I’ve been thankful for your attention and affection, I admit it, but I’ve never done anything to lead you on. This has been an extremely tough time for me, and you think because you’re nice to me and I don’t want to put out for you, that makes me a cock tease?!” I stand from the table, throwing my napkin down. “I’ve never teased anything of yours, Jack. I’ve never had any interest.”
With that I leave, and make it to the street before letting out a shriek of frustration. I’m so damn mad right now, I can barely see straight. If he thinks I’m keeping him around after that little conversation, he has another think coming!
Jack comes barreling out the door toward me. Oh, hell no, there is zero chance of me sticking around! I start walking down the street as Jack catches up to me, “Wait, stop…Mia! Just stop, dammit!”
“No! You stop!” I say, swinging around fast. “You have no right to ever speak to me like that. No right!!” My voice is loud and I couldn’t care less.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I was being a dick. I was hurt that you acted like you would rather jump out the window than be tied to me,” He looks down to the ground and continues, “I know I’m not even in your league, but I’m crazy about you. I can tell that you don’t see me that way at times and I’m just hoping you will give me a chance to be the guy you deserve. Please forgive me, I can’t believe what a douchebag I was being! Please say you’ll forgive me”.
While I appreciate his apology, I’m not that girl. Never have been. “Thank you for apologizing, but I don’t work that way. Zero to sixty or sixty to zero, I need a minute away from you.” As a cab pulls up, I motion to it and open the door, then look back at Jack.
“I don’t want to hurt you and I don’t want to be some emotional punching bag. I’ll call you in a couple of days, once I think on this for a bit.”
