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"I know."
"Then why are you doing this?" she asked as he stopped in front of her.
"I still have a week," he said shrugging.
Lexi's mouth dropped. "You're joking.
"I am." The way he said the words was even more confusing. She couldn't tell if he was saying he was as if he was really joking or if it was more of a question. She honestly didn't want to ask though. She had no idea what kind of reaction that would elicit from him.
"You should really stop this," he told her gesturing to her whole self.
"Stop what exactly?" she demanded.
"Getting all fired up," he said his eyes trailing the length of her body.
"Well then stop acting like an idiot," she commanded him.
"I just mean that you are sooo hot when you get feisty," he reminded her.
Lexi shook her head in disbelief and turned to leave. Jack grabbed her wrist and tugged her backwards. She stumbled backwards into him. "Hey I'm just kidding with you," he said his arms circling her waist to steady her balance.
She wasn't sure if she could believe him. But suddenly her mind wasn't thinking properly. When she had fallen against him, her body had landed flush against his chest. Pressed against his heated body, she held onto his shoulders as she straightened herself. Her head tilted upwards and she realized her lips were only inches from his own.
Her mind went blank. Everything she had been doing or thinking about before that moment was gone. It was as if she was standing on the beach seeing him like a mirage. She felt like he was her desert oasis and she was dying for thirst at the feel of his arms around her miniscule waist.
He seemed to realize her nearness at the same time. They both stiffened, too scared to move in any direction and unsure as to what result moving would bring. Their eyes locked onto each other. Lexi watched his travel to her lips and back up. Then slowly once more when he realized she was going to allow him to look where he shouldn't. She felt as if she were watching his eyes zone in on her now dry lips from someone else's body.
Jack's head leaned forward and he rested his forehead against her own. She could feel the waves of exertion and desire coming off of him as he struggled to keep it together. "Lexi, I can't," he said at the same time she muttered, "We shouldn't."
"Jaaaaaack," they heard someone yell not too far off.
Lexi sighed realizing that they had to return to reality, and in reality they didn't do this. She was careful to move so as not to encourage him further. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and crushed her body to him. He pulled her in closer and breathed in her familiar scent.
"It's all going to be okay right Lex?" he whispered into her ear begging for reassurance.
He was asking for something she couldn't give. He was making a terrible mistake, and she of all people knew what a mistake it truly was. She could not reassure him that everything he was doing was going to be fine. In fact, she thought it would fall apart at the first sign of trouble. If anything, this was actually the second sign of trouble. They had done worse in the past.
"I don't know Jack," she muttered.
He sighed heavily. "That's what I'm afraid of."
Just then the branches swung backwards and light flooded in on their intimate moment. The two jumped back as if they had been burned. The action made them look even more guilty than being found alone in a weeping willow together. Lexi's cheeks flamed as her eyes shot over to the entrance to the tree.
"Ramsey," she muttered forlornly her stomach dropping out of her body.
* * *
K.A. Linde
Balconies
'Cause I can't fight this feeling anymore
I've forgotten what I started fighting for
And if I have to crawl upon the floor
Come crashing through your door
Baby, I can't fight this feeling anymore
-REO Speedwagon "Can't Fight This Feeling"
* * *
Chapter 12:March Five Months Earlier
Lexi stared out across the beautiful ocean view stretching before her. The sand was perfectly white and flat seemingly extending for miles in either direction. The crystal clear blue water rippled faintly in the evening breeze. A warm sunset flooded the night sky with shades of red, pink, and orange. Palm trees partially shaded a kidney shaped pool and cabana below.
She couldn't believe she was spending her last spring break tucked into a gorgeous villa on the beach in south Florida with her boyfriend and a select group of his friends. He had been apologizing to her for his actions at New Years for months, and this planned trip was the pi?ce de r?sistance to his scheme to fully return to her good graces.
He had apologized in style even. Once he had settled the affairs of the club in Atlanta, he had immediately flown back to New York to, as he put it, "complete their evening." He refused to have it any other way. He had taken her back up to the top floor of the building where Chyna's blow out party had been. A table had been set up on the balcony with a single red rose, and thoughtful card explaining how if he could go back in time, he would change everything. Then he had kissed her unlike he had ever kissed her before. When he pulled back from her lips which he seemed to crave more and more, he had simply said, "Happy New Years."
She had been blown away to say the least. She probably would have let the whole incident go, but she couldn't deny that his words had hurt her. The last thing she wanted to do was lie to him about her feelings. She couldn't tell him everything was alright with her when in fact she was beating herself up about what had happened.
Long distance relationships had never been something she had considered. She just didn't think that they actually worked. Then he had gone and blamed her for everything that had gone down. Whether he meant to or not, he had opened up a can of worms of insecurity about the distance between.
He had his clubs and all his adoring employees. He had Atlanta, the nightlife, the celebrity status, the charming good looks. He had everything he could possibly need there. And what did she have? She had no money, no job, no real life outside of Chyna. She had a pile of debt waiting for her upon graduation. The more she thought about things he had said, the more terrified she had gotten about their relationship.
He didn't need her. This much was clear. She couldn't figure out why he even bothered. She had a mountain of baggage as large as her law school student loans. Some of which he knew about, some that he didn't, but either way it was pretty obvious that she had reservations.
