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“I can’t drive like this,” he murmurs against my teeth, our mouths still joined as we stumble out of the club, blind from the lights. The cold assaults us, but it barely registers over my flaming-hot skin. His hands are cupping my neck, then slide down to my waist, then on my thigh.
Everywhere.
So are mine.
“Let me go, then,” I gasp.
“I’d rather die,” Marco says, and picks me up. My legs wrap around his waist, and he balances me against his chest, tipping his head back to kiss me, opening his mouth wider and wider, exploring mine.
I don’t know how we end up in the room he has booked for us. I barely notice the fireplace, the petals in the steaming hot tub, the fresh flowers, the twinkling lights on the walls. This room is perfect. But not as perfect as the boy I have wrapped all around me right now.
My focus is all on him.
His fingers linger on the zipper of my jacket, and he goes still, his eyes searching mine.
“Yeah,” I tell him, and he nods, as if he wanted my permission. Needed it.
He has me out of my jacket within seconds, and I try to do the same to him, but my hands are shaking so badly, I fumble with it, unable to take the sleeves off. He laughs, and drops it to the ground in one fluid motion.
Then he quickly takes off his sweater, and just stands there in his jeans and white vest, panting. Waiting for me.
Yeah, I can’t do the same. I don’t have the same confidence, for one.
“You…” I whisper. “You… Can you help me with my shirt?”
He doesn’t even smile. His eyes are serious, focused, as he gently lifts my shirt over my head, his hand carefully cupping the cloud of my hair so that it won’t get tangled and hurt me. The shirt drops from his hands, but his eyes are on me. My face, my hair, my body.
“Wow,” he says and I blush to the roots of my hairs. Because he doesn’t just say it with his lips. He says it with his eyes, too. His expression. The trembling breath that leaves his chest shakily. “Are you good?”
“I need you,” I reply, and he gasps as if he is completely undone.
The next second, his hands are on me, his body closing the empty space between us, and he is kissing me hungrily, touching me, exploring me, turning me alive.
I don’t know where the kissing stops and the ‘more’ starts, but at some point, I close my eyes, and I don’t know how much time passes as he discovers my body, every single part of me, and makes it sing.
My turn, I think at some point.
Time to be brave. Time to do what I really want.
Who knew that touching a boy like that would take so much courage? But it does, for me. Because this isn’t just any boy. This is a man. And right now, it feels very much as if he is my man. He is almost falling to his knees in front of me, and he’s taken off his vest too, completely open, vulnerable, as he touches me and pants for breath.
‘I fell in—’
I do it. I reach out my hand and I just touch his arm and he groans as if he’s in pain.
“We have to stop,” he says immediately, out of breath. “We have to take a break, Olivia, please. I don’t think I can hold on much longer. I can’t—”
He’s right: I can’t either. Just touching him made me feel out of control. This is going too fast, and I’m not ready. Our fear and desperation are spilling out of us, onto each other, and this is not the way I want to do this. I can feel his need and desire reflected inside of me, and his skin is so hot it’s scorching my fingertips, but it feels too much, too soon. And I’m not ready.
But will I ever have the time to do this? Will I get the chance?
Will I live long enough to experience this?
No, this isn’t a good enough reason to do this, because I want to have done it before I die. It’s a stupid reason, even if it suddenly feels as if I will never want to do this with anyone else other than him. Ever.
Marco is watching me, his hands fallen to his sides. I have frozen all over, thinking of death. Lovely.
“Olivia,” he licks his lips, swollen from my kisses. “Olivia, have you ever…? Are you a…?” He blushes to the roots of his hair (a sight I never honestly thought I would see but sadly can’t enjoy, as I’m currently dying of embarrassment) and stutters to a stop.
