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CHAPTER1
Ten Days to Christmas
“We can’t forget Mum,” Josh Bridges said to his sons as he climbed out of his SUV. Before diving back into the vehicle again, he stretched his back and arms after the drive from Sydney.
He helped his four-year-old twin sons, Blaydon and Jaiden, out of the SUV. Next, Josh leaned into the vehicle, unclipped the seatbelt and picked up his wife’s urn from the back seat. A blinding shaft of amber light shone through the back window illuminating Amanda’s urn. Dawn.
A cool breeze whipped around them, the sweet air refreshing. He was glad they’d had an early start for their first Christmas in Bindarra Creek with his in-laws. There had been so many firsts since Amanda’s death his head spun. The one upside, if he could call it that, was her death had brought him closer to his sons. The past eighteen months had been a constant battle dividing his time between his sons and his career. Her death had thrust him into a role he was so underprepared for and one which completely overwhelmed him.
The boys had quickly brought him up to date on their likes and dislikes. He marvelled how they all worked together during some of his woeful efforts in getting them ready in the morning and when preparing dinner. The boys often worked as a tag team and managed in those stressful moments to reduce them all to laughter. Each night he crawled into bed exhausted, but pleased that their little unit was becoming much stronger.
But last night had been a nightmare. The twins’ excitement about spending Christmas with their grandparents and exploring Bindarra Creek had been too much for them. They couldn’t sleep, and at four a.m. Josh decided enough was enough, packed the car and bundled the boys into the back seat.
Once they hit the road, the boys promptly fell asleep and his thoughts drifted to their futures. He wanted their lives settled by the time they started school. It mattered so much that they keep going to the same school and not change, as he had done throughout his childhood; he wanted them to develop friendships that lasted a lifetime. He wanted so much for them it hurt.
Now, parked outside his parents-in-law’s home, he wondered if such an early arrival was wise.
Amanda’s unexpected death had rocked their tightknit world. He hugged his wife’s ashes to his chest. His sons stared at him, unsure, and he gave them a reassuring nod.
“Welcome to Bindarra Creek,” boomed Phyllis Waterford.
Startled, Josh looked over the roof of his SUV to see Amanda’s mother standing on the grass verge outside the Waterford family home. Her face broke out into a wide smile as she wiped her hands on an apron with a picture of a winking, smiling Santa Claus across the centre. Add to the mix a few splotches of dust across her cheek and the twirl of grey hair that had broken free from her lopsided bun on top of her head, Phyllis looked so familiar a sudden rush of emotion caught at Josh’s throat. Surprised at his feelings, Josh cursed himself for not visiting more often, or coming up sooner.
Her big blue eyes filled with tears. “It’s so good to see you all. Come on, boys, where’s my hugs and kisses? Don’t keep me waiting.”
With loud whoops and hollers the boys ran up to their grandmother.
Phyllis hugged them tight and kissed each boy’s head. Josh watched as Blaydon and Jaiden nestled in close to her soft body, their heads resting against her chest. For a few minutes their laughter and chatter filled the air. He loved to see them so happy. Without Amanda they’d all missed out on so much and her words rang out in his head, that it’s the little things that matter most and not the grand gestures.
Josh shut the car door. Phyllis looked across at him, and her gaze stalled at the urn in his arms. She pursed her lips. She lifted her eyes to his, her expression full of concern.
She nodded at the urn. “Is that really necessary?”
He braced himself. Some things were not negotiable. “I want Amanda to be part of their lives, to somehow be part of our lives.”
Phyllis patted the boys on the back. “You boys go inside. Grandpa’s waiting for you and I’ve been cooking up some of those special cakes you like. You ask him to give you one of my special cakes.”
The boys looked across at their father. His sons bristled with happiness and excitement. It seemed they’d blossomed in those few minutes with Phyllis. He gave them an “okay” nod and without another word they ran inside.
A sudden wave of grief hit him.
Phyllis walked over to him, her eyes moist. “It’s good to see you.”
He reached out and drew her in, hugging her as close as he could. Josh kissed her on the cheek. She surprised him by suddenly gripping his upper arms and holding him tight.
Phyllis pulled back to look at him, her face inches from his. Her big knowing eyes focused solely on him. “How are you, Josh? How are you really doing? You don’t tell us much.”
Her concern surprised him. Josh shrugged. He hadn’t been the best of sons-in-law. “Not much to say really. We’re okay.”
Like his sons he could feel himself fall under the woman’s soft motherly spell. He closed his eyes and took his share of long forgotten comfort. Despite their many disagreements and differences over the years he loved the straight-talking Phyllis. His nose twitched at her scent, a lovely mix of cinnamon and vanilla.
With one free arm, he snaked an arm around Amanda’s mother’s neck and held her close. He kissed the side of her head.
Phyllis patted his chest before she broke free and steered him towards the house. “Where’s the nanny?”
He smiled to himself. He’d known that question was coming. Josh knew it both amused and annoyed Phyllis that he’d brought in a nanny to help out with the boys. “Gone. No more. I’ll sort something out for next year.”
Phyllis raised an eyebrow, but he gave her credit, she didn’t say another word about it. The nanny roundabout had almost broken him.
