Page 45 of Pretty Savages


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Tara's cheeks are red, a very uncharacteristic look on her. And I can't help but notice her dark purple lipstick is a little smudged.

Damn, girl. Hell yes.

"I was just in a meeting," she offers, confidently.

I nod, playing along. "Of course."

She looks at me for a second, the two of us trying desperately not to break. Finally, she sighs and pulls open the door. I automatically gaze into the office, spotting the othermeetingattendee.

"Devin!" I choke out, spotting the handsome brunette. His suit jacket is hanging off one of the chairs in the room, and he's buttoning up his shirt.

"Rylee," he greets warmly.

This time, I can't help the snort and laugh that escape my mouth. Before any of us can say anything, Mike appears beside me, my drink in his hand.

"Your drink, m'lady," he says snugly, and I realize he knewexactlywhat was going on.

Tara gives Mike a playful scold. "You ass."

"What?" he says, feigning shock and ignorance. "Oh, right. Yourmeeting. Sorry, Ry. Tara is in ameetingright now." He lets out a booming warm laugh, throwing Tara a wink.

I hold my glass up, cheering Tara with a proud expression. "Sorry to interrupt, boss. Enjoy your meeting," I say, taking a large drink.

Devin slips out past us, giving Tara a look that screamsah shit, busted.

"I'll be in touch again to discuss our business arrangement."

Mike and I muffle our laughs, pretending to cough as we turn to head towards the office.

"Children!" Tara growls, shaking her head. "Mike, you owe me a drink. Worse watchman ever."

As I slip into bed, I feel oddly relaxed.

But still, there's a part of me that can't help but feel like there's something missing. I'm home – yet, it suddenly doesn't feel like home.

"What's wrong with me?" I mutter sadly, wrapping the blanket around me.

I should be relieved to be home, where I'm safe and life is normal. It makes me feel guilty, knowing that there's a part of me that misses the chaos.

I love my life here, but there's something about chaos that makes me feel alive. And I think I know why, or who, that is.

How is it possible to love and hate someone at the same time? To be so hurt and betrayed, and yet wish that things could be different. I hate myself for that little bit of hope that says maybe it will get better… maybe you still have a chance. Most of me doesn't want another chance, or to ever see any of them again.

Yet the smallest piece inside still yearns for them.

I must genuinely be fucked up.

There's a quiet knock on the door, and I look up, waiting. The door creaks open slightly, and I watch as Carmen pops her head through the door.

"You doing okay?" she asks quietly.

I nod, giving her a small smile. "Doing the best I can."

She slips into the room, closing the door behind her. I make room for her on the bed, watching as she pulls out some chocolate from behind her back.

"Whenever I feel sad, chocolate always cheers me up," she says, handing it to me.

I take the chocolate bar, giving her a thankful look.

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