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But I’m not stupid enough to think I’ve just missed the cues all this time. I mean, not once in all the years we’ve been friends has he tried to put the moves on me. Not even when I’m drinking, and my inhibitions take a vacay.
No, Val doesn’t see me that way, and I’m kinda scared that telling him about my secret crush will change our dynamic. I don’t want to make things weird and awkward between us.
Our friendship has always been easy and natural. We just work together. As friends. I don’t even know if we would work well as lovers. My fantasies say hells yes, we’d be fire. But my brain says, what if we’re not? What if, by some unlikely miracle, he reciprocates my feelings, and we try being more and we’re not compatible?
I’d lose him. My stomach churns at the thought and I regret eating that slice of cheesecake Kida gave me. Even if it was smooth and creamy and disgustingly delicious. I hate feeling this way. The uncertainty makes me nauseous.
Closing my eyes, I realign my thoughts. I consciously push away all the negativity swirling through my head. Telling Valentine how I feel willnotend our friendship. No matter what happens, we’ll always have that. Even if things get uncomfortable between us for a bit, over time it would get better. I’m sure of it.
I live by the motto that Cinderella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life. So, with that in mind, I click over to my favorite shopping site, and pick out a gorgeous little pair of pale pink GIANVITO ROSSI Alisia Mules. Two minutes later my purchase is complete and I’m ready for whatever comes next.
Standing from my desk, I smooth my hands down my grey knit skirt, then stride across the pit to face Val. He’s slumped in his chair with one arm hooked over the back of it as he stares at his cell. He’s frowning at the screen and my brows dip as draw closer. I nibble my bottom lip as I decide whether to interrupt him or not.
Before I’ve made up my mind, he lifts his head, and his eyes meet mine. “Hey, I was just about to come over to see you,” he says.
My frown deepens. “You were? What for?”
“I actually don’t remember now,” he chuckles, but there’s an awkward edge to it.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, eyeing his cell.
He glances at it and shrugs. “I think so. Maggie texted.”
I scowl. I hate that chick. “What’s she want?”
Val’s expression turns pensive. “To see me.”
My face screws up in distaste. What could she possibly want now? If she thinks I’ll just stand back and let her hurt him again, she’s got another think coming.
“Whoa there, killer, calm down. She says she wants to apologize,” he says.
I fold my arms and pop a hip. “As she should. But she can do that via text. There’s no reason she needs to do it in person.”
He chuckles. “True.”
“So, what are you going to do?”
He shrugs. “I don’t know. I mean, I don’t want to be a dick. If she wants to apologize, I can give her that.”
“You’re too nice for your own good, you know that.”
“Nah, I just don’t see the point in lowering myself to other people’s level. It won’t hurt me any to meet her for a coffee so she can say whatever she needs to, and then she can move on.”
I arch a brow. “Like I said, too nice.”
Val chuckles and shakes his head at me. “Anyway, what brings you to my side of the pit?”
“Umm…” I was going to ask him to come over tonight, get him nice and drunk, spill my guts, wait for his inevitable rejection, then move on to planning Dad’s date. But with Maggie reappearing I don’t think now is the best time for me to throw a spanner in me and Val’s friendship.
I mean yeah, the whole purpose of getting him drunk before I tell him is so he’ll hopefully not remember any of it the next day. But on the off chance he does recall me dropping this bomb on him, he’ll probably need a bit of space afterward.
Shit, shit, shit.
“Umm, Bee…” Val says. “Are you all right?”
“Me? Yeah, of course. I’m fine. I umm, I forgot what I was going to say, too. Can’t have been that important, then.” I back away from him. “I’ll let you know if I remember.” Then I powerwalk back to my corner of the pit, collapse into my chair, and rub my temples.
My head hurts, my heart hurts, and my stomach is in knots.
