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“Oscar, we need to talk.”
Chapter Thirteen
Cheryl
I’veneverhadamood turn so quickly, but every ounce of lust drains from me as I pick up the full flask and realize things are much worse than I thought. Oscar hasn’t just been carrying this around again. He’s been filling it too.
“Oscar, we need to talk,” I tell him, trying not to rush to conclusions, even while my pulse starts to pound, and my thoughts start to spin.
“It’s not how it looks,” he says quickly, his bright eyes wide.
“I’m not mad,” I say, trying to keep my voice calm. My fingers feel shaky on the flask, but I’m his Alpha. I need to stay in control. “I just need to understand what’s going on.”
He lets out a heavy sigh. Tugs at his messy brown hair and then crosses his arms. His stare moves to the floor where his blazer’s lying in a crumpled heap. He closes his eyes briefly before he looks back at me. “It’s the blackouts.”
“You started having them again.”
He nods, but he doesn’t say anything else. Everett thought it was just about the blackouts, but I’m not so sure that’s all this is. They must have come back for a reason.
“You’ve been more connected to your wolf lately,” I remind him. “Was anything different before you blacked out?”
“Nothing,” he tells me, shaking his head. “I haven’t been drinking again. I filled the flask last night because carrying it around empty wasn’t working.”
“It wasn’t working?” I ask, my heart breaking just a little. The flask is supposed to make him feel calmer when he’s anxious. Something’s really wrong if it’s not doing anything. “Oscar, what’s going on?”
He frowns at me. “I wish I knew. I don’t know how to explain it. I just… I have this feeling that something bad will happen if I shift and blackout again.”
“How long have you been worried about that?”
“Ever since I found out it’s not what’s supposed to happen when you shift.”
I blink, and he shrugs. “How long ago was that?”
“A few years,” he admits. “I stopped shifting once I knew. It made me realize what it meant for my wolf to be in complete control. It meant I had no control. None.”
A terrifying thought, and it’s the missing piece of the puzzle.
“It’s okay to be scared, Oscar. I can help you get through this. We all can. You have a pack, you have family.”
“That’s why I’m so afraid,” he admits. “If I blackout and do something terrible to you, or someone else, I would never forgive myself. I can’t risk that. I won’t do it.”
He doesn’t trust his wolf. That’s why they aren’t fully connecting.
It doesn’t make sense. He’d been trying. He was making great progress. I don’t understand.
“You were shifting without blacking out,” I remind him. “For weeks, months. What changed?”
“I don’t know,” he says. “I relaxed a little more every time I stayed conscious. I started to think it was because everything else was so perfect. I met you, and our pack was solid, and I quit my vices after a few minor setbacks. It was like finding paradise.”
“When did you start to worry again about blacking out?”
“I didn’t,” he says. “I stopped thinking about it. I didn’t think it would happen again. Then it did, and I freaked out. That’s when I started carrying the flask again.”
“Where did you get the whiskey?”
He lets out a loud sigh. “Vi asked me to check the pantry when she was baking with Ivy. I found it behind some stuff in there. I can show you, if you want.”
I nod slowly. I don’t know what triggered him, but we can’t have alcohol in this house.
